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RIAA Claims Music On Car Radios Meant Only For Original Vehicle Owner


The Recording Industry Association of America announced today it would be expanding its crackdown on copyright infringement by suing family members, hitchhikers and carpoolers.

Lawyers for the RIAA maintain that the radio in each car was never meant to be listened to by anyone else except the original owner of the vehicle.

Therefore, any additional passengers who listen to music on the radio in another individual's car are doing so illegally and without the express permission of the copyright holders of the respective songs that are broadcast.

RIAA attorneys were preparing to go to Federal District courts across the country to have subpoenas issued to every car maker in America in the hopes of forcing them to disclose the names and addresses of all purchasers from the last 20 years.

"We think this is a no brainer," said an RIAA spokesperson who declined to be identified. "These drivers have been illegally sharing music on their radios and their passengers have been getting a free ride for way too long," he continued.

Legal representatives for the RIAA also warned that they would especially be targeting the "big fish" like charter bus drivers and RV owners who blatantly turn up the radio volume allowing others to hear.

In addition, RIAA lawyers said they were hoping to get a court order to exhume the bodies of Scottish physicist James Clerk-Maxwell, who developed the theory of electromagnetic waves and Guglielmo Marconi, who discovered and harnessed wireless radio in order to sue both corpses for unfair business practices.

- Corey Deitz

This Article Is Satire

Son Goku

No lover of dogma
ROFL, joke though it be, it sounds just like them ;)

Oh, they've long since gone over the deep end (along with their pet Senator Hollings).

thx for the laugh :D
I sometime wonder about these so called attorneys who purport to be working for whatever the institution is that has failed to modernise themselves and is looking for someone to blame/sue for there loss of revenue.

They will of course fail as they have no jurisdiction in this domain at the end of the day.

:) :) :)

Son Goku

No lover of dogma
If a dollar can be had, there are lawyers out there who will try the case. Just look at cases like:

- Person eats too many hamburgers, becomes rather routund, and then sues McDonalds for their weight gain. I remember after that case was tried, that it was questioned some places on the Internet, whether resturants should be required to moderate customer's waiste lines for them, and have to serve healthy food. As to personal responsibility?

- Another person sued McDonalds after their child gained weight, after eating too much at McDonalds...

I've since heard that some states passed laws, disallowing the suing of fast food resturants, if one eats there and then gets fat.

- A more recent one I heard was someone suing their cable company, because they watched too much television.


A Wisconsin man is threatening to sue his cable TV company for conspiring to turn his family into couch potatoes.

In a complaint filed with local police, Timothy Dumouchel said the Charter Communications cable firm was responsible for his own TV addiction, his wife's 23-kilogram weight gain and his children being "lazy channel surfers".

"I believe that the reason I smoke and drink every day and my wife is overweight is because we watched TV every day for the last four years," Mr Dumouchel said.

Mr Dumouchel said he would be willing to forgo his small claims suit in exchange for $US5000 ($A6530), or three computers, or even a lifetime supply of free internet service from Charter.
A little more in depth


And of course, there are lawyers who will try these sorts of cases...

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