Open letter from the Blue States

dreamliner77

The Analog Kid
Joined
16 Mar 2002
Messages
4,716
Dear Red States...

We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us.

In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon,Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.
We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.
We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.
We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S.
low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs),
92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy b*****ds believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.

By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico.

Peace out,
Blue States
 
holy crow, that's one very funny and ingenious post

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.
I didn't know this...a very telling stat if true

If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.
another great point but you loose double for invoking the word "quagmire".

if you do that again, you don't get to come
We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.
fair to me, but who gets amd?...I might be tempted to switch sides if we can't get amd

90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S.
low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

YES!!!

44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy b*****ds believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.

they don't believe it, they just say it because it gets them votes

btw

mega reptitudals on teh way
 
Can I become an honorary member of the Blue States of America?
 
dreamliner77 said:
I wish I could take credit for writing that...
you still loose points for not editing out the word "quagmire"...sorry, there's no excuse
 
All I have to say is...WOW!! that was great..LOL:)
 
dreamliner77 said:
Well, what would YOU replace it with?


errrrrrr, shiit hole, botch job? :rolleyes:


Great post dreamliner. :p
 
dreamliner77 said:
you see... that's what you get.

Btw, is Les Paul still doing those shows in NYC?

Yes every monday nite at iridium.
 
With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs),
Author needs to do some fact checking. I don't have the time to research every other stat, but I'll venture to guess that the author didn't, either. This one was the easiest to blow up, however, since it was the most glaring lie. The divorce rate stat was not only misleading (the percentages are divorces per capita), but uses eleven year old data. More up-to-date information can be found here.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90 percent of all cheese

2004countymap-final2.gif


Good luck getting all the gun-toting farmers in the counties that actually produce all that stuff to secede with you. Just because the majority of blue states live in well-populated areas doesn't make those urbanites farmers

lol... And I wonder how many tech businesses and their employees would move to where there's food and water so they don't have to pay an arm and a leg to have it shipped from other countries.

Truth be told, the country is just fine as it is. We have hard working farmers in rural areas--whose minority voices get beaten down by two major cities (as is the case in my native Oregon)--and we have big money making tech people in urban areas. You can survive without computers longer than you can survive without food and water, though.

I hope whoever wrote that will review it and be a little more honest in their next attempt at fact-gathering. The only people they are deceiving are their own.
 
I believe it was a joke and not actually written by an osnn member.
 
I know :) I read a lot of other sites and blogs, and I've seen it posted elsewhere. I know it's all in good fun, but I'm a big fan of research and accuracy, especially when my side get misrepresented.
 

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Also Hi EP and people. I found this place again while looking through a oooollllllldddd backup. I have filled over 10TB and was looking at my collection of antiques. Any bids on the 500Mhz Win 95 fix?
Any of the SP crew still out there?
Xie wrote on Electronic Punk's profile.
Impressed you have kept this alive this long EP! So many sites have come and gone. :(

Just did some crude math and I apparently joined almost 18yrs ago, how is that possible???
hello peeps... is been some time since i last came here.
Electronic Punk wrote on Sazar's profile.
Rest in peace my friend, been trying to find you and finally did in the worst way imaginable.

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