- Joined
- 30 Jan 2004
- Messages
- 1,303
In short, the worst movie I've see since Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
You remember the South Park Imaginationland mini series where they had Michael Bay talking about how to make a movie? All he says is AND THAN A METEOR COMES IN AND ITS LIKE BLAM AND RAWR AND THAN A MOTORCYCLE JUMPS A FLAMING HELICOPTER AND ITS LIKE KRAPLAAAAAAA. That's this movie.
Things happen for no reason other than to get us on to the next explosion. The characters are all poorly done. The humans exist only to die. For example the "elite" task force, NEST, they roll into a hot spot and immedieatly call for backup from the autobots. Why are they there at all? If you're a human and you're not in the military or under 30 than you're either the typical bureaucrat that exists to only to hamper the good guys and then disappear entirely or you're there for pointless comic relief. The movie is filled with these throwaway jokes that serve no purpose. They might as well just had some guy in the background get hit with a pie. It would have been easier and less painful to watch.
The Transformers themselves are even weak. Well the main guys (Optimus and such) are fine, but there are tons of new ones. And they all act like rejects from a Spike Lee film. Back in the day, Transformers had names, and did certain things. Now they just conjure up a transforming robot out of the blue cause they need someone to do something. Sort of like what Brett Ratner did with X3, creating mutants out of thin air cause they needed that ability to advance the plot. And there are tons of little things that are needless mistakes. Like stepping out of the backdoor of the Smithsonian, only to find an airplane grave yard and a mountain range in the distance. Or how Bumblebee and his crew of ganstas (if you've seen this POS you know who I mean) just appear whenever needed. No explanation given to how they got there or why they weren't actively involved earlier on. Clearly they didn't pay any attention to these details. Why? Cause nothing was blowing up at this point.
The whole movie is a long, loud and dizzying example of inept film making. Michael Bay should be ashamed of himself.
1 out of 5 OSNN stars. That 1 is for the last good childhood memory I have of my huge Transformers collection.
You remember the South Park Imaginationland mini series where they had Michael Bay talking about how to make a movie? All he says is AND THAN A METEOR COMES IN AND ITS LIKE BLAM AND RAWR AND THAN A MOTORCYCLE JUMPS A FLAMING HELICOPTER AND ITS LIKE KRAPLAAAAAAA. That's this movie.
Things happen for no reason other than to get us on to the next explosion. The characters are all poorly done. The humans exist only to die. For example the "elite" task force, NEST, they roll into a hot spot and immedieatly call for backup from the autobots. Why are they there at all? If you're a human and you're not in the military or under 30 than you're either the typical bureaucrat that exists to only to hamper the good guys and then disappear entirely or you're there for pointless comic relief. The movie is filled with these throwaway jokes that serve no purpose. They might as well just had some guy in the background get hit with a pie. It would have been easier and less painful to watch.
The Transformers themselves are even weak. Well the main guys (Optimus and such) are fine, but there are tons of new ones. And they all act like rejects from a Spike Lee film. Back in the day, Transformers had names, and did certain things. Now they just conjure up a transforming robot out of the blue cause they need someone to do something. Sort of like what Brett Ratner did with X3, creating mutants out of thin air cause they needed that ability to advance the plot. And there are tons of little things that are needless mistakes. Like stepping out of the backdoor of the Smithsonian, only to find an airplane grave yard and a mountain range in the distance. Or how Bumblebee and his crew of ganstas (if you've seen this POS you know who I mean) just appear whenever needed. No explanation given to how they got there or why they weren't actively involved earlier on. Clearly they didn't pay any attention to these details. Why? Cause nothing was blowing up at this point.
The whole movie is a long, loud and dizzying example of inept film making. Michael Bay should be ashamed of himself.
1 out of 5 OSNN stars. That 1 is for the last good childhood memory I have of my huge Transformers collection.