Hipster Doofus
Good grief Charlie Brown
- Joined
- 12 May 2002
- Messages
- 5,920
Just got these emailed.
BLOWHOLE
2002 Darwin Award Nominee, Confirmed True
June 2002, Hawaii | 18-year-old Daniel was vacationing with his family
when he met three young women on a Hawaiian beach. Perhaps the company
of the women addled his brain. Half an hour after meeting them, he was
frolicking in a dangerous natural waterspout called the Halona Blowhole:
a rock funnel formation that shoots seawater twenty feet into the air.
A locked gate keeps people away from the stairs to the blowhole, and
a warning sign proclaims, "Hazardous Conditions. Do Not Go Beyond This
Point." A local comedian has placed a skull labeled "Boneyard Reef"
on the warning sign. However, the area can be reach by climbing the
rocks from beaches on either side.
Witnesses said that Daniel walked right by them on his way to the
blowhole, and they warned him to stay away. He kept going, climbing
over the rocky shelves to reach the hole shortly before 3pm.
He was overheard to say he wanted to feel the water hit his chest.
Thirty seconds later his wish was granted. Dozens of people watched
in amazement from a highway overlook while he straddled the blowhole,
arms outstretched, laughing while spray washed over him. Then a large
wave hit the rocks, and a blast of water launched him five feet into
the air and dropped him headfirst into the blowhole
According to firefighter Todd Hugo, who attempted to locate the body
while tied to a safety rope, the blowhole narrows then opens up eight
feet down. "You could tell when a wave was coming in. There was
a kind of humming sound."
Divers recovered Daniel's body the next day. It was the fourth time
a victim has been swept into the blowhole since 1927. Two men died
in 1969 and 1986, and one man survived in 1967. "I can't understand
the mindset," said Fire Chief James Arciero.
Daniel's female companions were seen being comforted by a young
man wearing a T-shirt that read, "Every day, death is near."
REFERENCE: Honolulu Advertiser
one more
SAW A GRENADE
2002 Darwin Award Nominee, Unconfirmed
July 2002 | This story was told at a symposium dinner, by two
Austrian pathologists who work together in Germany. A deceased male
was brought to them for a post mortem. He had suffered severe head
trauma. According to police reports, the man wanted to see how a
German World War II hand grenade was constructed. His curiosity led
him to clamp the grenade in a vise, and cut a thin band around the
center with a circular saw, so that he would be able to crack open
the two halves. Unfortunately, the man cut a little too deep, and
detonated the grenade. The pathologists stated that the man had
very little brain material when he was brought to them; however,
they were not sure if that was a result of the explosion!
Moral = use what little gray matter you may have.
BLOWHOLE
2002 Darwin Award Nominee, Confirmed True
June 2002, Hawaii | 18-year-old Daniel was vacationing with his family
when he met three young women on a Hawaiian beach. Perhaps the company
of the women addled his brain. Half an hour after meeting them, he was
frolicking in a dangerous natural waterspout called the Halona Blowhole:
a rock funnel formation that shoots seawater twenty feet into the air.
A locked gate keeps people away from the stairs to the blowhole, and
a warning sign proclaims, "Hazardous Conditions. Do Not Go Beyond This
Point." A local comedian has placed a skull labeled "Boneyard Reef"
on the warning sign. However, the area can be reach by climbing the
rocks from beaches on either side.
Witnesses said that Daniel walked right by them on his way to the
blowhole, and they warned him to stay away. He kept going, climbing
over the rocky shelves to reach the hole shortly before 3pm.
He was overheard to say he wanted to feel the water hit his chest.
Thirty seconds later his wish was granted. Dozens of people watched
in amazement from a highway overlook while he straddled the blowhole,
arms outstretched, laughing while spray washed over him. Then a large
wave hit the rocks, and a blast of water launched him five feet into
the air and dropped him headfirst into the blowhole
According to firefighter Todd Hugo, who attempted to locate the body
while tied to a safety rope, the blowhole narrows then opens up eight
feet down. "You could tell when a wave was coming in. There was
a kind of humming sound."
Divers recovered Daniel's body the next day. It was the fourth time
a victim has been swept into the blowhole since 1927. Two men died
in 1969 and 1986, and one man survived in 1967. "I can't understand
the mindset," said Fire Chief James Arciero.
Daniel's female companions were seen being comforted by a young
man wearing a T-shirt that read, "Every day, death is near."
REFERENCE: Honolulu Advertiser
one more
SAW A GRENADE
2002 Darwin Award Nominee, Unconfirmed
July 2002 | This story was told at a symposium dinner, by two
Austrian pathologists who work together in Germany. A deceased male
was brought to them for a post mortem. He had suffered severe head
trauma. According to police reports, the man wanted to see how a
German World War II hand grenade was constructed. His curiosity led
him to clamp the grenade in a vise, and cut a thin band around the
center with a circular saw, so that he would be able to crack open
the two halves. Unfortunately, the man cut a little too deep, and
detonated the grenade. The pathologists stated that the man had
very little brain material when he was brought to them; however,
they were not sure if that was a result of the explosion!
Moral = use what little gray matter you may have.
