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Mommy Mommy Jokes

ZeroHour

ho3 ho3 ho3
#1
Son: Mommy, Mommy! My head hurts!
Mom: Shut up and get away from the dart board!


Son: Mommy, mommy, can I lick the bowl?
Mom: Shut up and flush.


Son:Mommy, Mommy! My egg tastes bad.
Mom:stop complaining! Just eat it!
Son:Mommy, Mommy!
Mom:What is it now!
Son:Do I have to eat the beak as well?


Son:Mommy, Mommy! What happened to all your scabs?
mom:Shut up and eat your cornflakes!


Son: Mommy, Mommy! When will we have this nice yellow pudding again?
Mom: Shut up, you know that grandma's leg is no longer infested.


Son: Mommy, Mommy! Why is daddy running away?
Mom: Shut up, and help me reload the shotgun!


Son: Mommy, Mommy! Can I play in the sandbox?
Mom: Not until I find a better place to bury Daddy.


Son: Mommy, Mommy, I want to play with Grandpa now!
Mom: Keep quiet, the coffin stays closed today!


Son: Mommy, mommy, are you sure this is how to learn to swim?
Mom: Shut up and get back in the sack!


Son: Mommy, Mommy! Why do I have to hop everywhere?
Mom: Shut up or I'll chop off the other leg!


Son: Mommy, Mommy, I don't like running in circles!
Mom: Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor.


Son: Mommy, Mommy! Can I go to the toilet?
Mom: Yes Johnny I'll take you in a minute.
Son: Can Granny take me?
Mom: Why? son:Her hand shakes.


Son: Mommy, Mommy! Grandpa's going out!
Mom: Well throw some more gasoline on him then


Son: Mommy, Mommy, can I wear a bra now? I'm 16..
Mom: Shut up Albert....


Son: Mommy, Mommy! I can't breathe!
Mom: Good, it's working.


This is a little non-pc, but hey

Son: Mommy, Mommy! can I have a bike for Christmas?
Mom: Nope. You already have your wheelchair.
 

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Perris Calderon wrote on Electronic Punk's profile.
Ep, glad to see you come back and tidy up...did want to ask a one day favor, I want to enhance my resume , was hoping you could make me administrator for a day, if so, take me right off since I won't be here to do anything, and don't know the slightest about the board, but it would be nice putting "served administrator osnn", if can do, THANKS

Been running around Quora lately, luv it there https://tinyurl.com/ycpxl
Electronic Punk wrote on Perris Calderon's profile.
All good still mate?
Hello, is there anybody in there? Just nod if you can hear me ...
Xie
What a long strange trip it's been. =)

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