Mommy Mommy Jokes

[ZeroHour]

Son: Mommy, Mommy! My head hurts!
Mom: Shut up and get away from the dart board!


Son: Mommy, mommy, can I lick the bowl?
Mom: Shut up and flush.


Son:Mommy, Mommy! My egg tastes bad.
Mom:stop complaining! Just eat it!
Son:Mommy, Mommy!
Mom:What is it now!
Sono I have to eat the beak as well?


Son:Mommy, Mommy! What happened to all your scabs?
mom:Shut up and eat your cornflakes!


Son: Mommy, Mommy! When will we have this nice yellow pudding again?
Mom: Shut up, you know that grandma's leg is no longer infested.


Son: Mommy, Mommy! Why is daddy running away?
Mom: Shut up, and help me reload the shotgun!


Son: Mommy, Mommy! Can I play in the sandbox?
Mom: Not until I find a better place to bury Daddy.


Son: Mommy, Mommy, I want to play with Grandpa now!
Mom: Keep quiet, the coffin stays closed today!


Son: Mommy, mommy, are you sure this is how to learn to swim?
Mom: Shut up and get back in the sack!


Son: Mommy, Mommy! Why do I have to hop everywhere?
Mom: Shut up or I'll chop off the other leg!


Son: Mommy, Mommy, I don't like running in circles!
Mom: Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor.


Son: Mommy, Mommy! Can I go to the toilet?
Mom: Yes Johnny I'll take you in a minute.
Son: Can Granny take me?
Mom: Why? son:Her hand shakes.


Son: Mommy, Mommy! Grandpa's going out!
Mom: Well throw some more gasoline on him then


Son: Mommy, Mommy, can I wear a bra now? I'm 16..
Mom: Shut up Albert....


Son: Mommy, Mommy! I can't breathe!
Mom: Good, it's working.


This is a little non-pc, but hey

Son: Mommy, Mommy! can I have a bike for Christmas?
Mom: Nope. You already have your wheelchair.