Joke of the day

One more week of freeedom and then its back to school

Actual School Excuse Notes - These are notes from parents (with their
original spelling) collected by schools from all over the country:




1) My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today.
Please execute him.



2) Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her
shot.



3) Dear School: Please exscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29,30, 31,
32, and also 33.



4) Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.



5) Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.



6) John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.



7) Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.



8) Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.



9) Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.



10) Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.



11) Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre) (dyrea) (direathe) the runs. [words in ( )'s were crossed out.]



12) Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.



13) Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.



14) Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.



15) I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wears.



16) Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.



17) Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.



18) My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.



19) Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.



20) Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.



21) Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.



22) Please excuse little Jimmy for not being in school yesterday. His father is gone and I could not get him ready because I was in bed with the doctor.
 
Five Types of Sex

The first kind of sex is Smurf Sex. This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.

The second kind of sex is Kitchen Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for a short time and you are so horny you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.

The third kind of sex is Bedroom Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine and you usually have sex in your bedroom.

The fourth kind of sex is Hallway Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say "Fu*k You".

The fifth kind of sex is Courtroom Sex. This is when you cannot stand each other anymore. She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone.
 
Re: One more week of freeedom and then its back to school

Originally posted by gonaads
Actual School Excuse Notes - These are notes from parents (with their
original spelling) collected by schools from all over the country:



FFS No wonder we got Clinton for 8 years. :rolleyes:
 

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Also Hi EP and people. I found this place again while looking through a oooollllllldddd backup. I have filled over 10TB and was looking at my collection of antiques. Any bids on the 500Mhz Win 95 fix?
Any of the SP crew still out there?
Xie wrote on Electronic Punk's profile.
Impressed you have kept this alive this long EP! So many sites have come and gone. :(

Just did some crude math and I apparently joined almost 18yrs ago, how is that possible???
hello peeps... is been some time since i last came here.
Electronic Punk wrote on Sazar's profile.
Rest in peace my friend, been trying to find you and finally did in the worst way imaginable.

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