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Insurance jokes

T

trellawny

Guest
#1
The following are actual statements placed on insurance forms where the car's driver attempted to summarise the details of their accident in the fewest words possible.

• Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.


• The other car collided with mine without giving any warning of its intentions.


• I thought the window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head through it.


• A truck backed through my windshield and into my wife's face.


• A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.


• The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.


• I pulled away from the side of the road, glaced at my mother-in-law, and headed over an embankment.


• In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone poll.


• I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.


• I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.


• The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran over him.


• I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.


• As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.


• To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.


• My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.


• I told the police that I was not injured, but upon removing my hat, found that I had a fractured skull.


• I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.


• The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.


• I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.


• The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck the front of my car.
 

chris

Free to Fly
#2
Originally posted by trellawny
• A truck backed through my windshield and into my wife's face.

• The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran over him.

• I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.

• The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
haha those are golden :)
 

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