If God Owned A Computer...

Geffy

OSNN Veteran Addict
Joined
18 Mar 2002
Messages
7,805
In the beginning there was the computer. And God said

%Let there be light!

#Enter user id.

%God

#Enter password.

%Omniscient

#Password incorrect. Try again.

%Omnipotent

#Password incorrect. Try again.

%Technocrat


#And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
%Let there be light!
#Unrecognizable command. Try again.
%Create light
#Done
%Run heaven and earth
#And God created Day and Night. And God saw there were 0 errors.
#And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
#Approx. funds remaining: $92.50.

#And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Monday, March 2.
%Let there be firmament in the midst of water and light
#Unrecognizable command. Try again.
%Create firmament
#Done.
%Run firmament
#And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors.
#And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Monday, March 2.
#Approx. funds remaining: $84.60.

#And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.
%Create lights in the firmament to divide the day from the night
#Unspecified type. Try again.
%Create sun_moon_stars
#Done
%Run sun_moon_stars
#And God created the heavens. And God saw there were 0 errors.
#And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.
#Approx. funds remaining: $54.00.

#And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.
%Create fish
#Done
%Create fowl
#Done
%Run fish, fowl
#And God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that creepeth wherewith the waters swarmed after its kind and every winged fowl after its kind. And God saw there were 0 errors.
#And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.
#Approx. funds remaining: $45.00.

#And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Friday, March 6.
%Create cattle
#Done
%Create creepy_things
#Done
%Now let us make man in our image
#Unspecified type. Try again.
%Create man
#Done
%Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the fowl of the air and over every living thing that creepeth upon the earth.
#Too many command operands. Try again.
%Run multiplication
#Execution terminated. 6 errors.
%Insert breath
#Done
%Run multiplication
#Execution terminated. 5 errors.
%Move man to Garden of Eden
#File Garden of Eden does not exist.
%Create Garden.edn #Done
%Move man to Garden.edn
#Done
%Run multiplication
#Execution terminated. 4 errors.
%Copy woman from man
#Done
%Run multiplication
#Execution terminated. 3 errors.
%Insert woman into man
#Illegal parameters. Try again.
%Insert man into woman
#Done
%Run multiplication
#Execution terminated. 2 errors.
%Create desire
#Done
%Run multiplication
#And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
#Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.

%Create freewill
#Done
%Run freewill
#And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
#Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
%Undo desire
#Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
%Destroy freewill
#Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
#Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
%Help
#Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
#Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
#Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
%Create tree_of_knowledge
#And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
#Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
%Create good, evil
#Done
%Activate evil
#And God saw he had created shame.
#Warning system error in sector E95. Man and woman not in Garden.edn.
#1 errors.
%Scan Garden.edn for man, woman
#Search failed.
%Delete shame
#Shame cannot be deleted once evil has been activated.
%Destroy freewill
#Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
#Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
%Stop
#Unrecognizable command. Try again
%Break
%Break
%Break
#ATTENTION ALL USERS *** ATTENTION ALL USERS: COMPUTER GOING DOWN FOR REGULAR DAY OF MAINTENANCE AND REST IN FIVE MINUTES. PLEASE LOG OFF.
%Create new world
#You have exceeded your allocated file space. You must destroy old files before new ones can be created.
%Destroy earth
#Destroy earth: Please confirm.
%Destroy earth confirmed
#COMPUTER DOWN *** COMPUTER DOWN. SERVICES WILL RESUME SUNDAY, MARCH 8 AT 6:00 AM. YOU MUST SIGN OFF NOW.
#And God logged off for the week just before sundown, at 6:59:59 PM, Friday, March 6.
#Approx. funds remaining: $0.00.

[Source]
 
I think I pissed my pants ... that is the funniest
Crackup.gif
 
This deserves a bump - regardless of your religious feelings it is a hoot if you're command line literate.... :)
 
That is very good Geffy. :D

"%Copy woman from man
#Done
%Run multiplication
#Execution terminated. 3 errors.
%Insert woman into man
#Illegal parameters. Try again.
%Insert man into woman
#Done" :D
 

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Also Hi EP and people. I found this place again while looking through a oooollllllldddd backup. I have filled over 10TB and was looking at my collection of antiques. Any bids on the 500Mhz Win 95 fix?
Any of the SP crew still out there?
Xie wrote on Electronic Punk's profile.
Impressed you have kept this alive this long EP! So many sites have come and gone. :(

Just did some crude math and I apparently joined almost 18yrs ago, how is that possible???
hello peeps... is been some time since i last came here.
Electronic Punk wrote on Sazar's profile.
Rest in peace my friend, been trying to find you and finally did in the worst way imaginable.

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