If Bill Gates was a Redneck


OSNN Senior Addict
4 Mar 2003
If Bill Gates was a Redneck

What would be different with Microsoft if Bill Gates was a Red Neck?

1. Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders.

2. Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle.

3. Occasionally you'd bring up a window that was covered with a heftybag.

4. Dialogue boxes would give you the choice of Ahh-ight or Naaaaa.

5. Instead of ta-da the opening sound would be dueling banjos.

6. The Recycle Bin in Winders'95 would be an outhouse.

7. Whenever you pulled up the sound player you'd hear a digitized drunk redneck yelling Feebird!

8. Instead of Start Me Up the Winders'95 theme song would be Achy-Braky Heart.

9. PowerPoint would be named ParPawnt.

10. Microsoft's programming tools would be Vishul Basic and Bishul C++.

11. Winders'95 logo would incorporate the Confederate Flag.

12. Microsoft Word would be just that: one word.

13. Instead of latte carts we'd have grits carts.

14. New Shutdown wav: Y'all come back now, ya hear?

15. Instead of VP, Microsoft big shots would be called "Cuz".

16. Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am.

17. Microsoft Office replaced with Micrasawft Henhouse.

18. Four words: Daisy Duke Screen Saver.

19. Well, the first thing you know, old Bill's a billionaire.

20. Speadsheet software would include examples in inventory dead cars in your front yard.

21. Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor Pull Simulator.

22. Microsoft CEO: Bubba Gates.

23. Instead of asking "where do you want to go today? It's more like Hey mister, can I ketch a ride in the back?

24. Free eraser to erase the scribbble marks off the screen when using the NotePad

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EP, glad to see you come back and tidy up...did want to ask a one day favor, I want to enhance my resume , was hoping you could make me administrator for a day, if so, take me right off since I won't be here to do anything, and don't know the slightest about the board, but it would be nice putting "served administrator osnn", if can do, THANKS

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