How to deal with stubborn computers...
Over the years I have spent working on computers, I have noticed something in common between the users who own them. Many users can be intimidated by their computers. This gives the computer a psycological advantage over the user, an advantage that the computer enjoys exploiting. Symtoms of an exploitatious computer include frequent error dialog boxes, various boot problems, program crashes, and the occasional BSOD. By using techniques such as these, computers help establish a sense of fear and worryment in the user. One of the best remedies to this problem is to fight fire with fire. You need to scare the everloving sh*t out of your computer. Here are a few suggestions.
1) Here's a technique I've heard is used by a certain tech working at a certain retail computer store. Anytime there would be a computer problem that noone there could fix, he would take the computer to a back room, lock the door, and start yelling and cussing at the computer at the top of his lungs. After about a 10 minute session, the computer would begin working again.
2) Here's another technique I've heard used at a local ISP. One of there computers would not always shutdown or reboot properly. Solution: give the computer a boot. One quick kick to the case would usually encourage it to work right.
3) The method I prefer involves cannibalizing older computers. Find an old 486 or the like, preferably an old Compaq or Packard Bell, or some other computer that is either broken or will never be used again. Thuroughly disassemble the old computer in the presence of your current computer. Be sure to spread out the various system components around the room to give your current computer a better view. Remove all jumpers and screws and keep them in a small glass jar on top of your computer. Doing so gives you quick access to screws/jumpers if you need them AND makes computers queasy having to hold spare parts that have been disemboweled from another computer. Next, begin dismembering the various computer components. I prefer playing frizbe with motherboards on concrete/asphalt surfaces. (Note: you may also be able to ask for old broken computer components at local computer dealerships too.) After you have thuroughly dismembered a few pieces of hardware, hang them on the ceiling or wall around your computer as a reminder to it of what can happen to computers who refuse to cooperate.
4) I have seen more radical approaches to technique 3 posted by several people on the internet. For example, I have seen some people take a CD-RW drive that refused to "burn" a CD. To remedy this problem, they removed the drive, took it outside, and proceded to douse the drive in gasoline or other highly flamible substance. After using one of various methods to light it ablaze, the resulting product could be kept on display next a newer CD-RW drive.
5) Seek professional help. (For the computer.)
Note: If I offended anyone, I'm sorry. I just felt like writing something funny/sarcastic today. Actually, some of these methods have been known to work. (Mainly a psycological thing I think.)