I just wanted to thank everybody

#1
This is a note to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble
to send
me your doggone chain letters over the past two years.

Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.
Because of
your concern...

I no longer can drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these
products
are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.

I no longer drink anything out of a can because I will get sick from
the rat
feces and urine.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be
pricked with
a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a
water
buffalo on a hot day.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a
perfume
sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually
Al Qaeda
in disguise.

I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our
American
troops.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a
stupid
number for which I will get the phone bill from hell with calls to
Jamaica,
Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

I no longer eat pre-packaged foods because the estrogens they contain
will turn
me gay.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant
freaks
with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer date the opposite sex because they will take my kidneys and
leave
me taking a permanent nap in a bathtub full of ice.

I no longer have any sneakers-but that will change once I receive my
free
replacement pair from Nike.

I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have
their
recipe.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking
out for
me and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.

Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I
forward an
email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is
about to
die in the hospital (for the 1387258th time).

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive
the
$15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in
their
special e-mail program.

Yes, I want to thank all of you soooooooo much for looking out for me!
I will
now return the favor.

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next 60
seconds, a
large bird with diarrhea will crap on your head at 5:00 pm this
afternoon and
the fleas of a thousand camels will infest your armpits.

I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of a
friend of
a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of my next
door
neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's 8th husband's 2nd cousin's 3rd husband's
ex-wife's mother's beautician!!!
 

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Perris Calderon wrote on Electronic Punk's profile.
Ep, glad to see you come back and tidy up...did want to ask a one day favor, I want to enhance my resume , was hoping you could make me administrator for a day, if so, take me right off since I won't be here to do anything, and don't know the slightest about the board, but it would be nice putting "served administrator osnn", if can do, THANKS

Been running around Quora lately, luv it there https://tinyurl.com/ycpxl
Electronic Punk wrote on Perris Calderon's profile.
All good still mate?
Hello, is there anybody in there? Just nod if you can hear me ...
Xie
What a long strange trip it's been. =)

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