here is my verizion horror story from 3 years ago.
More annoying than the "Can you hear me now?" guy is Verizon’s DSL customer service and technical shortcomings.
The wife and I are getting ready to move this Friday. Among the pains of this new adventure is switching over services to the new place. Fortunately, electricity, gas, and phone are actually a piece of cake. If only everything were that simple.
Since DSL is handled through the phone company, I asked the phone rep if they could switch my DSL as well. He assured me that this would be no problem.
Wait a minute!
The next day, I remembered how hard it was to set up the DSL line at my current address two years ago. There was a 21-day waiting period after they "tested" my line, then there were other complications that led to another month of delays. I threatened to cancel the whole thing, but Verizon offered me a month of service for free due to my grievances. I accepted.
The trip down memory lane caused me to think, "Can they switch over the day I move?" Continuing down this train of thought, I realized that Verizon confirmed that my phone would be working this Friday, but they had not mentioned my DSL connection. The rep merely said that it would not be a problem. I never ask them when it would actually be working.
Service Rep Number 1 - The nice lady
Realizing the potential dilemma, I called Verizon’s customer service. After punching through a dozen numbers to get to the right office, I was connected to a nice lady. She said that it was her goal to "exceed my expectations of her". I would never make that my goal, because you never know what kind of expectations strangers have running through their minds.
Nevertheless, I explained to her about the move, the phone, and the DSL. All she could tell me was whether or not a request was placed for the DSL to be transferred to the new address. She could not confirm any dates.
Having failed at even reaching my expectations, she transferred me to "Verizon Online".
Service Rep Number 2 - The confused guy
After punching a bunch of numbers, I eventually reached a "technical support specialist". He didn’t mention anything about exceeding my expectations, but was still polite.
I brought him up to speed on everything and he quickly explained that he was the wrong guy to talk to about this. Realizing that I had been transferred to him, he said that he would make sure I was transferred to the right person.
Service Rep Number 3 - The Lying lady
My final destination in the Verizon customer service world brought me to a lady who was clearly upset that there was still some good in people. Clearly, my expectations didn’t mean squat to her, but they were low at this point anyway.
I told her that I needed to know when my DSL would be set up at my new address. She looked it up and explained to me the process that needed to take place.
Check out this ungodly process:
1. The phone line must be active.
2. Verizon must then test the line to make sure it can have DSL set up on it.
3. If the test succeeds, the DSL will be set up within 5-8 business days.
4. If the test fails, Verizon will not perform another test for another 21 business days.
5. After the 21 business days, if a test succeeds, the DSL will be set up within 5-8 business days.
I think brain surgery is easier than this.
After hearing this process, I said, "So you’re telling me that after this Friday, the soonest I would have DSL is in the next 5 to 37 business days?"
"Yes."
"I can’t be that long without Internet. I want to cancel the service altogether instead of transferring it."
"We cannot do that, sir," she replied, obviously irritated. "Once a test has been set up, we cannot cancel the test or the DSL service."
"You have got to be kidding me."
"No, sir. I am not joking."
"Look, if the countdown to a space shuttle lift-off can be cancelled in the final seconds, the testing my phone line can be canceled."
"I’m sorry, sir. It’s just not possible."
"Well, can you set up a cancellation for the future?"
"No, sir. You can only cancel the service once it has been activated."
"Which won’t happen for the next 5 to 37 business days?"
"That is correct."
I then began to argue with her about wasting my time and the ridiculousness of Verizon’s poor technology and customer service. I also mentioned my two years as a DSL customer and how I had sold others in my area on getting DSL with Verizon. She didn’t really care about any of it.
To hell with them
Finally, I realized I had spent over 30 minutes screwing with this problem. I said, "Fine. Thanks for your help."
I immediately called Comcast to have a cable modem set up at my new house the day I move in. After 5 to 37 business day, when my DSL is active, I’ll cancel it immediately and end two years DSL service with Verizon. It’s a shame that I won’t be hearing James Earl Jones’s voice every time I log in.
