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How many Internetters does it take to change a light bulb?

#1
How many Internetters does it take to change a light bulb?

Answer: 435,235


1 to change the bulb
4 to tell him he should have done it differently
365 to point out spelling/grammar errors in first 5 posts
1834 to flame the spell checkers
4598 to correct spelling in spelling flames
6785 to say please move to alt.spelling.lite.bulb
15,467 to say stop cross posting to soc.women and alt.rape.all.men.are.scum, alt.adoption, and s.a.a.(m)
23,456 to endlessly debate which method is superior
236,789 to concatenate all articles to date, then quote them, only to say, "Me Too"
106,345 to quote the "Me Toos" to say, "Me Three"
1 to propose new alt.change.lite.bulb newsgroup
89,345 to say this is just what alt.physic.cold_fusion was meant for, leave it here
10,584 votes for alt.lite.bulb
 
#2
How many FreeBSD hackers does it take to change a lightbulb?

One thousand, one hundred and sixty-nine:

Twenty-three to complain to -CURRENT about the lights being out;

Four to claim that it is a configuration problem, and that such matters really belong on -questions;

Three to submit PRs about it, one of which is misfiled under doc and consists only of ``it's dark'';

One to commit an untested lightbulb which breaks buildworld, then back it out five minutes later;

Eight to flame the PR originators for not including patches in their PRs;

Five to complain about buildworld being broken;

Thirty-one to answer that it works for them, and they must have cvsupped at a bad time;

One to post a patch for a new lightbulb to -hackers;

One to complain that he had patches for this three years ago, but when he sent them to -CURRENT they were just ignored, and he has had bad experiences with the PR system; besides, the proposed new lightbulb is non-reflexive;

Thirty-seven to scream that lightbulbs do not belong in the base system, that committers have no right to do things like this without consulting the Community, and WHAT IS -CORE DOING ABOUT IT!?

Two hundred to complain about the color of the bicycle shed;

Three to point out that the patch breaks style(9);

Seventeen to complain that the proposed new lightbulb is under GPL;

Five hundred and eighty-six to engage in a flame war about the comparative advantages of the GPL, the BSD license, the MIT license, the NPL, and the personal hygiene of unnamed FSF founders;

Seven to move various portions of the thread to -chat and -advocacy;

One to commit the suggested lightbulb, even though it shines dimmer than the old one;

Two to back it out with a furious flame of a commit message, arguing that FreeBSD is better off in the dark than with a dim lightbulb;

Forty-six to argue vociferously about the backing out of the dim lightbulb and demanding a statement from -core;

Eleven to request a smaller lightbulb so it will fit their Tamagotchi if we ever decide to port FreeBSD to that platform;

Seventy-three to complain about the SNR on -hackers and -chat and unsubscribe in protest;

Thirteen to post ``unsubscribe'', ``How do I unsubscribe?'', or ``Please remove me from the list'', followed by the usual footer;

One to commit a working lightbulb while everybody is too busy flaming everybody else to notice;

Thirty-one to point out that the new lightbulb would shine 0.364% brighter if compiled with TenDRA (although it will have to be reshaped into a cube), and that FreeBSD should therefore switch to TenDRA instead of GCC;

One to complain that the new lightbulb lacks fairings;

Nine (including the PR originators) to ask ``what is MFC?'';

Fifty-seven to complain about the lights being out two weeks after the bulb has been changed.

[Source]
 

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