- Joined
- 9 Jun 2002
- Messages
- 9,606
A woman is crossing the road when she gets run over. She is
lying on the ground as the driver rushes out of the car to her.
"Are you alright?" he asks her.
"Everything is a blur, I can't see anything," she says.
Concerned, the man leans over the woman to test her eyesight.
"How many fingers have I got up?" he asks.
"Oh No!" she replies, "don't tell me I'm paralyzed from the
waist down, too!"
The Supreme Court had decreed that segregation had to stop
because it was against the Constitution.
In Selma, Alabama a bus pulls up to the curb and people start
to get on. The bus driver says, "There is now no black or white.
From now on, everybody will be considered green. Now, all you
dark green people get to the back of the bus."
Service
At one time in my life, I thought I had a handle on the meaning
of the word "service"... the act of doing things for other
people.
Then I heard the terms Internal Revenue Service, Postal Service,
Civil Service, Service Stations, and I became confused about
the word "service." This is not what I thought "service" meant.
Then recently, I overheard two horse breeders talking and one
of them mentioned that he was having his stallion service a
few of his mares.
SHAZAM!
It all came into perspective. Now I understand what all those
"service" agencies are doing to us!
I don’t follow college football, but judging by this series
of one-liners I’d say the Nebraska Cornhuskers were having a
dog-blowing season.
NEBRASKA CORNHUSKER QUIZ
What's the difference between the Nebraska Cornhuskers and
the Taliban?
A. The Taliban has a running game.
Q. What do the Nebraska Cornhuskers and Billy Graham have in
common?
A. They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus
Christ."
Q. How do you keep a Nebraska Cornhusker player out of your
yard?
A. Put up goal posts.
Q. Where do you go in Lincoln in case of a tornado?
A. Memorial Stadium - they never get a touchdown there.
Q. Why doesn't Omaha have a Div 1A football team .
A. Because then Lincoln would want one.
Q. Why was Frank Solich upset when the Cornhusker playbook
was stolen?
A. Because he hadn't finished coloring it.
Q. What's the difference between the Nebraska Cornhuskers and
a dollar bill?
A. You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
Q. What do you call 47 people sitting around a TV watching the
College Championships?
A. The Nebraska Cornhuskers.
Q. What do the Nebraska Cornhuskers and possums have in common?
A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.
Q. How can you tell when the Nebraska Cornhuskers are going
to run the football?
A. Diedrich leaves the huddle with tears in his eyes.
lying on the ground as the driver rushes out of the car to her.
"Are you alright?" he asks her.
"Everything is a blur, I can't see anything," she says.
Concerned, the man leans over the woman to test her eyesight.
"How many fingers have I got up?" he asks.
"Oh No!" she replies, "don't tell me I'm paralyzed from the
waist down, too!"
The Supreme Court had decreed that segregation had to stop
because it was against the Constitution.
In Selma, Alabama a bus pulls up to the curb and people start
to get on. The bus driver says, "There is now no black or white.
From now on, everybody will be considered green. Now, all you
dark green people get to the back of the bus."
Service
At one time in my life, I thought I had a handle on the meaning
of the word "service"... the act of doing things for other
people.
Then I heard the terms Internal Revenue Service, Postal Service,
Civil Service, Service Stations, and I became confused about
the word "service." This is not what I thought "service" meant.
Then recently, I overheard two horse breeders talking and one
of them mentioned that he was having his stallion service a
few of his mares.
SHAZAM!
It all came into perspective. Now I understand what all those
"service" agencies are doing to us!
I don’t follow college football, but judging by this series
of one-liners I’d say the Nebraska Cornhuskers were having a
dog-blowing season.
NEBRASKA CORNHUSKER QUIZ
What's the difference between the Nebraska Cornhuskers and
the Taliban?
A. The Taliban has a running game.
Q. What do the Nebraska Cornhuskers and Billy Graham have in
common?
A. They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus
Christ."
Q. How do you keep a Nebraska Cornhusker player out of your
yard?
A. Put up goal posts.
Q. Where do you go in Lincoln in case of a tornado?
A. Memorial Stadium - they never get a touchdown there.
Q. Why doesn't Omaha have a Div 1A football team .
A. Because then Lincoln would want one.
Q. Why was Frank Solich upset when the Cornhusker playbook
was stolen?
A. Because he hadn't finished coloring it.
Q. What's the difference between the Nebraska Cornhuskers and
a dollar bill?
A. You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
Q. What do you call 47 people sitting around a TV watching the
College Championships?
A. The Nebraska Cornhuskers.
Q. What do the Nebraska Cornhuskers and possums have in common?
A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.
Q. How can you tell when the Nebraska Cornhuskers are going
to run the football?
A. Diedrich leaves the huddle with tears in his eyes.
