It's allright Gonaads. thanks.
Your extra option has a typo " or some sort " I think it's meant to be " of some sort "
Do I believe in God? In Biblical terms, I have difficulty believing in that sort of thing, that there is a supreme being of some sort. How could that be possible?
I remeber the few times I talked to my father, he told me this once, I believe it's a quote from a Russian writer, from the 15th century. Goes something like this " You, you try to understand God. Look at the sun, it shines, and you know it's there, yet, with your eyes, you can not look directy at it, without burning your eyes out. If you can not fully look at one of Gods creations, then how do you expect to see and fully understand God? "
If you look at it from that way, it's believe able. I believe the average human uses what, 10 % of our brain? That's quite limited, in terms that we have 90% unused.
So, even thinking in terms along the lines of what is writen above, I still can't understand, but, perhaps I am not expected to.
I don't believe in hell. Not the hell people picture with the flames, people boiling, and all the bullsh!t. Neither do I believe in heaven, that heaven where angels fly, and there is a paradise. For some reason, that world, I can not grasp or imagine, and perhaps I never will.
I don't believe in luck, and I don't have any belief in destiny. I take it as everything in this world is linked in one way or another. That's another thing.
Speaking of luck, and I'm not imaging this, or making it pretty for you to read, I'm telling the truth, things have happened to me since I was a little kid, and I'm surprised I'm alive. If I jinx myself and die tonight, I'm sorry...
When I was a little kid, I fell of a high chair, directly on my nose. Little as in less then 7 months. And it was a really high chair. Wooden floor. The doctors later said that it was amazing that I didn't die or snap my neck from the impact, and that blood loss was minimal from that kind of fall.
Later on, I've had a flying piece of metal from a car accident that happened a few feet infront of me, zip past my neck, to an extent that I could feel it passing by. Another time, I got in a very bad bike accident, and it's amazing that I did not break my neck, loose both my eyes, or some thing else, after hitting a car, flying for a little while, rolling, then smalling down face first into a pile of glass.
Then again, one night, someone tried to run me down with a car. Late evening, I was crossing the street, it was a big avenue, as I was in the very middle, someone in a Camery, black with dark windows, gunned either engine. On red light, straight towards me. At that time, I had a messed up knee, and was limping. Anyway, the car only grazed my pants, it missed me by millimeters.
And yet another time, a hard pine needle got in my eye...went all the way in the back. I managed to take it out myself, very painful, when I went to the doctor late on, she said, amazing how it didn't take out my eye, or sever nerves.
Similar things happened to me. I've been led to believe that something, must be watching over me, In one way or another. I am in no way branding myself special, or something in that fashion, just saying that I trully believe something amazing had to happen in order for me not to permenantly hurt myself, or die.
I'm a skeptic, and I'm often pessimist. I can be happy, but that's rare, life isn't that grand for me, I have many things, but I'm not happy with most anything.
Anyway, on my views on this sort of thing... I was born in communist times, when religion was banned. So there was not any hope of that, my grandmother was not religious, neither was my aunt, or my mother. My father went to Church everyonce in a while, he had his reasons.
When I moved here, which was 8, I still didn't quite have a religion.
After all the things that have happened to me... I went to Church last year, and was baptised, or Christened, and now am Russian Orthodox.
I don't attend Church, but, I feel better having a cross with me, and knowing that possibly I'm not alone.
After death? I don't know, I refuse to believe that you just die and it is over, because if so, there is no point to life. If that's true, I don't want to live knowing that.
I believe there must be something, there has to be. I am more then just an organic machine, I am more then just never signals in my cells, I am more then my heart and my brain.
I believe we have a soul, a spirit, and perhaps it moves on with us...maybe it has been tainted with another experience prior to us, been somewhere else.