Dictionary For Decoding Women's Personal Ads

[Skipholiday]

40-ish...........................49.
Adventurous......................Slept with everyone.
Athletic.........................No breasts.
Average looking..................Moooo.
Beautiful........................Pathological liar.
Emotionally Secure...............On medication.
Feminist.........................Fat.
Free spirit......................Junkie.
Friendship first.................Former ****.
New-Age..........................Body hair in the wrong places.
Old-fashioned....................No BJs.
Open-minded......................Desperate.
Outgoing.........................Loud and Embarrassing.
Professional.....................Bitch.
Voluptuous.......................Very Fat.
Large frame......................Hugely Fat.
Wants Soul mate..................Stalker.



WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think
about?

MEN'S ENGLISH:

1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay

[edit]
Color removed (it was annoying)

 

[bobsalot]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
lolz

 

[technokid88]

pretty funny stuff

 

[kcnychief]

nice

 

[cupcake20]

hahhahahaahahaa....thats quite hilarious!

 

[Beck]

Classic

 

[bobsalot]

tis funny how this thread keeps on popping up.