Dead Duck

gonaads

Beware the G-Man
Political User
Joined
Mar 31, 2002
Messages
18,474
#1
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary hospital.

As she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope

and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet

shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, Cuddles has passed away."


The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I am sure.

The duck is dead," he replied.


"How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done

any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned

a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever.


As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his

hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the

duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and

shook his head.


The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments

later with a beautiful cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed

delicately at the bird. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head,

meowed softly and strolled out of the room.


The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most

definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."


Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a

bill, which he handed to the woman.


The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried,

"$150 - just to tell me my duck is dead?!!"


The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill

would have been $20, but what with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan.

:rolleyes:
 

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