Daughter's Letter Home


OSNN Senior Addict
4 Mar 2003
Daughter's Letter Home

Dear Mom and Dad,

It has now been three months since I left for college. I have been
remiss in writing this and I am very sorry for my thoughtlessness in not
having written before. I will bring you up to date now, but before you

Well then, I am getting along pretty well now. The skull fracture and
the concussion I got when I jumped out of the window of my dormitory
when it caught fire shortly after my arrival are pretty well healed now.
I only get those sick headaches once a day.

Fortunately the fire in the dormitory and my jump were witnessed by an
attendant at the gas station near the dorm, and he was the one who
called the fire department and the ambulance. He also visited me at the
hospital and since I had nowhere to live, because of the burned out
dormitory, he was kind enough to invite me to share his apartment with
him. It's really a basement room, but it's kind of cute. He is a very
fine boy and we have fallen deeply in love and are planning to be
married. We haven't set the exact date yet, but it will be before my
pregnancy begins to show.

Yes Mother and Dad, I am pregnant. I know how much you are looking
forward to being grandparents and I know you will welcome the baby and
give it the love, devotion and tender care you gave me when I was a
child. The reason for the delay in our marriage is that my boyfriend has
some minor infection which prevents us from passing our pre-marital
blood tests and I carelessly caught it from him. This will soon clear up
with the penicillin injections I am taking daily.

I know you will welcome him into our family with open arms. He is kind
and although not well educated, he is ambitious. Although he is of a
different race and religion than ours, I know your often expressed
tolerance will not permit you to be bothered by the fact that his skin
color is somewhat darker than ours. I am sure you will love him as I do.
His family background is good too, for I am told that his father is an
important gun-bearer in the village in Africa from which he came.

Now that I have brought you up to date, I want to tell you that there
was no dormitory fire, I did not have a concussion or a skull fracture.
I was not in the hospital, I am not pregnant, I am not engaged. I do not
have syphilis and there is no man (of any color) in my life. However, I
am getting a 'D' in History and an 'F' in Science and I wanted you to
see those marks in the proper perspective.


Your Loving Daughter


In the beginning......
Political Access
21 Sep 2002
Lol. I've seen this one before but it is still funny.

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