Saddam was prolly gonna finish the world with his WMD but......he could have been more inventive in his choices of WMD that he
could have unleashed against the West. Why limit yourself to nuclear,
biological and chemical weapons when there are so many other items that
can be used as WMDs? Such as:
Pillows - Everyone knows that once a pillow fight starts, there's
virtually no stopping it until the last one breaks, or your mother comes
in yelling.
Potatoes - When loaded into a spud gun, even the humble potato can
become a menacing weapon. And loaded with carbs, potatoes mean certain
death to Atkins dieters.
"Your call is important to us" messages - Used wisely, these can
indicate to someone that their call is important. Played constantly for
over an hour, they can spark spontaneous melt-down in which the victim
becomes a blood-thirsty killing machine. Saddam could have learned a few
things from the Microsoft support line.
Fart Gas - Worse than the mustard gas that wreaked so much havoc in the
trenches of WWI, a really noxious fart can induce vomiting in an entire
room full of people. And since the national dish of Iraq is Pacha
(stewed sheep's head, stomach, and feet), Saddam would have had millions
of them at his disposal.
Coca Cola - Coke dissolves teeth left in it for a science experiment.
Imagine the damage millions of litres raining down on a city would do.
Paper Clip Straighteners - If Saddam had devoted his time to perfecting
this weapon, the US military would have been in disarray. They'd have
nothing to hold their files in order. Imagine the utter chaos.
Balloon animals - They make kids squeal with excitement. And enough high
pitched squealing can generate destructive sonic vibrations which could
flatten buildings and entire cities.
Oil - Iraq has millions of barrels of crude oil just waiting to be burnt
in motor cars. And we all know that burning fossil fuels leads to global
warming, which will lead to the end of the world. There is no more
potent weapon in Saddam's arsenal.
Arnold Schwarzenegger - With about 4,506 kills in some 37 movies, the
Governator is possibly the world's most lethal WMD.
Beer - The perfect dual strike weapon. Victims willingly use it, and it
destroys brain cells by the thousand with every mouthful. Then, the next
morning, victims want to die.
McDonalds - the fast food chain has been slowly clogging nice healthy
arteries for decades, it's the ultimate chemical weaponary. And you can
make a profit while you're at it.
Anything Shiny - It would distract Americans at least.
Old Ladies in Cars - They drive no faster than 15 mph, and turn left
from the right lane, thus destroying the entire national infrastructure
and logistics systems.
Spray Paint - If it can render chromies unconscious so easily with just
one bottle, imagine what a can the size of a nuke would do?
SMS Code - (1/2)It cn rely fuk u up wen trin 2 read it. U dont now
wat... (2/2) attk he might b planin next =)=)
AK-47s - Sly Stallone, by himself, can take out an entire army with one
of these. Imagine what all of Iraq could do! ...wait... they had
those...
Money. Paper money dropped in large quantities out of an airplane flying
low over any American city would cause rioting and massive stampedes as
people fight over the cash, resulting in many casualties.
Celine Dion and George Michael songs played over and over - Enough to
make any man, woman or child cut their own ears off.
Beans- Think gas...