Hehe, I had exactly the same thing happed to me about 6 months ago!.
My girlfriend was too busy talking, and I was lashed (intoxicated)
I went from a number 3 to a 0 in one fell swoop. THAT looks severe though Hipster!!!.
As already mentioned, take the plunge and skin the rest.
Good news though. It doesn't take too long to grow back though....honest!!!.
You just need another 2 lines to complete a H for Hipster. Might as well use it to get a message across while it lasts. Don't forget to paint yellow for emphasis
Or you could use black face paint to camouflage.
Or you could completely shave down the sides and leave a thin Mohawk down the center to look genuinely Hippy