bagpipes

[Henyman]

NOISY NEIGHBORS

A bright young Scottish lad named Shamus had the
opportunity to go to university in London. So he packed
his bags and said good-bye to his mother and left the
highlands for the big city.

After the first week his mother called to see how her
boy was holding up.

"I love it here Mother," Shamus told her, "but these
English students are the oddest people ever! Why the
boy who lives in the dormitory room next to me bangs
his head against the wall until midnight every night.
And the boy in the room above me stomps around until
midnight every night. And the boy right below me blasts
his stereo until midnight every night."

"Why don't you complain to the Dean of students?" asks
his mother.

"Well, it doesn't bother me much," answers Shamus. "I'm
usually up until that time quietly practicing my
bagpipes anyway."


BIRDS ON THE ROOF

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi were sitting around
discussing the pigeon problem. Each house of worship
was being over run with pigeons on the roofs. The
minister said "I tried to shoot them off, but they'd
just circle around and come back. The only damage it
did was to put holes in my roof."

The rabbi said, "I tried to smoke the pigeons off my
roof, but all that happened was the roof caught fire."

The priest then told the others that he managed to get
rid of the birds. The others were amazed and asked what
his secret was. "Well," he said, "I just baptized them,
confirmed them, and I haven't seen them since."

btw does any 1 get that last 1?

 

[Octopus]

aweful jokes

 

[funky dredd]

hehehe. Good one (didn't get the second one)

 

[damnyank]

Henyman -I got the last joke - am I going to have to try to explain your own joke to you?

If you don't understand it - why did you post it?

 

[ZAnwar]

I got the first one, second one not ?

 

[Henyman]

tell us bout the second 1 i didn't get it so i posted it hoping sum 1 would

 

[damnyank]

Posted by Henyman
The priest then told the others that he managed to get
rid of the birds. The others were amazed and asked what
his secret was. "Well," he said, "I just baptized them,
confirmed them, and I haven't seen them since."

Not being an extremely religious person, let me try to explain it to you:

A person in baptized - like most churches do the bit as a baby - when the preacher does the "in the name of the father, Son and holy ghost" thing with the water on the baby's forehead!

Then a person is confirmed - which usually consists of taking classes to learn the particulars/beliefs of whatever faith you are going to "confirm your belief in".

Then after being baptized and confirmed - you are sorta like an official member of that church. One would think that since it was a priest that said it - it is referring to the Catholic faith and like everyone who is Catholic gets baptized and confirmed!

Well, the priest was inferring that once they were baptized and confirmed - they met that requirement of the church and they were never seen again! Like they did what was expected of them and then never attended church (mass) as good catholics are expected to.

BTW - There is a joke going around here right now since it is close to election time about he only time the politicians attend church is close to election time! Along the same idea!

I am sure someone else could explain this better than - but if you know what they are talking about - it is humorous!

 

[Henyman]

i get it....i think

 

[funky dredd]

Thanks Damnyank. I get it now, I should have gotten it earlier because of my religion and haven't been to church in years...

 

[Nick M]

lol Henyman! Like the second one; the 2nd I got too!

 

[Smokie]

Like Damnyank, not being a religious type person myself, I still got the second joke straight away. I hate doing this, giving praise to Damnyank, but he explained the joke very well.

Maybe both of us being a bit older than most people in the forum, we can understand these sort of things a lot easier than the young'ns..

 

[damnyank]

Smokie - a bit more experienced - not "a bit older" - heh heh!

Are you feeling okay Smokie??
Ya blew my mind complimenting me on the explanation!
Thank you, thank you very much!

 

[Henyman]

/me aint never been 2 no church thing

 

[damnyank]

Henyman - this could be a whole new experience for you!

 

[Henyman]

/me sees the word church beforce it gets put on his h8 list 4eva

 

[Kirrie2001]

Hey Henyman, thereare some tasty bits of Crumpet that go to church, you might score there man.

 

[damnyank]

Posted by Kirrie2001
Hey Henyman, thereare some tasty bits of Crumpet that go to church, you might score there man.

The voice of experience has spoken!

 

[Smokie]

A Scotsman that goes to church?? C'mon Kirrie2001 don't give us Scots a bad name...Next you will be saying you put a quid in the poor box ... and not take out any change!!!!

Btw, have you the address of that little blond piece down the road, nice looking bit of crumpet for sure???

 

[Kirrie2001]

Henyman, are you sure it was a Scotsman, as Shamus is an Irish name, and they have bagpipes too.

 

[Henyman]

lol