12 shots of whiskey

[Lukas]

12 shots of whiskey (and so on...)

A guy walks into a bar and orders twelve shots of the best whiskey in the house. The bartender proceeds to fill twelve shot glasses and stares, puzzled, at the guy as he begins to drink them down, one by one. As the guy is finishing the eleventh shot, the bartender asks, "What's the occassion?"

The guy says, "I'm celebrating my first blowjob!", as he finishes off the last shot.

"Well," says the bartender, "in that case, here have one on the house " and he fills another shot glass.

"No thanks," says the guy, "If twelve didn't get the taste out of my mouth, one more won't!"

 

[Lukas]

Checking Account

Checking Account

This guy walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window, "I want to open a ****in' checking account"

To which the lady replied, "I beg your pardon, what did you say?"

"Listen up dammit, I said I want to open a ****in' checking account right now."

"Sir, I'm sorry but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this bank!"

The teller left the window and went over to the bank manager and told him about her situation. They both returned and the manager asked, "What seems to be the problem here?"

"There's no damn problem," the man said, "I just won 50 million dollars in the lottery and I want to open a ****in' checking account in this damn bank!"

"I see sir," the manager said, "and this bitch is giving you a hard time?"

 

[mooo]

haha those jokes were great