You might be a redneck addicted to the world of computers if....... * If yer computer stand is made of a stack of old tires or 2 x 8's and cinderblocks. * Ya think www. in a url is a logo for a wrestlin' organization. * Someone tells ya they're "locked up" and ya ask if they need bail money. * Ya've ever been too drunk to chat. * Yer screen saver is a confederate flag and plays dixie. * Ya think a harddrive is a trip to Uncle Bubba's. * Yer mouse keeps knocking over yer spitcan. * Ya think a surge supressor is a pill for diarrhea. * Ya keep trying to figure out why yer scanner won't pick up police radio calls. * Ya think a megabyte is a new sandwich at McDonalds. * Ya have to ask someone how to spell LOL. * Yer stomach overlaps half of yer keyboard. * Ya try to figure out how to get yer empty beer cans into the recyclin' bin. * Ya try to turn on yer computer with the remote. * Ya try to figure out how yer floppy disk got hard. * Ya play frisbee with yer CD Rom's. * Ya find yerself on the floor looking into yer "A Drive" yelling 'Give it back! Give it Back'. * When birds fly across yer screen an ya reach for yer shotgun. * Ya put a mousetrap on yer desk. * Yer yards full of ol' computers stacked on cinder blocks. * Ya use yer CD-ROM drive as a beer holder. * Ya call tech support an ask where ta buy stamps fer yer e-mail. * When ya tern yer computer on ya say, "Come OOOOOOON Betsy." * Ya think system wizard is a dude in a funny hat. * Ya think 64 M RAM is a nu big block engine fer yer pickup. * Ya think ICQ is how smert yer computer is. * Someone tellz ya yer computer has a bug an ya reach for the can of Raid. * Ya think a mouse pad iz where Mighty Mouse and his cousins hang. * Ya go buy a surfboard to surf the net. * Ya think yer homepage is where ya really live. * Ya give derections to a website that include a person, animal, or old barn. * Ya think MB stands for "More Beer." * Ya wait fer the bluelight special at K-Mart ta buy yer puter. * Ya see the word Download, and take the shells out of yer shotgun. * Ya think the person that made yer keyboard was dumb cuz the letters aint in order. * Ya think pushing the delete key will make yer ol' lady disappear. * Ya think CD stands for Cow Dung. * Ya think IBM stands for "Idn't Betsy Marvelous." * Ya think GIF stands fer "Goodie It's Free." * Ya think Mirabilis is a new brand of smokes. * Ya see the "shift" key and try ta figure out how ta change gears. * Ya put a quilt over yer screen when a make whoopee to yer ol' lady. * Ya wonder why yer screen saver ain't wearing a cape like that there superhero on the cartoons. * Ya think screen saver is a new flavor o' candy. * Ya think Geocities is a place ta buy lil cars. * Ya catch yerself tryin' to smell the lil flower on yer ICQ contact list. * Ya think the "A drive" is where ya park yer pickup. * Ya see the werd "Zip" and know why youz feelin' a draft. * Yer puter has a bumper sticker on it. * Part of yer puter is held together with duct tape. * Ya sees the word "Refresh" and reach into the cooler fer another beer. * Yer in a chat room and someone asks where yer from and you reply, "My momma." * You sees the word "Website" and start looking for spiders.