You Cow!

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by Electronic Punk, May 23, 2002.

  1. Electronic Punk

    Electronic Punk Administrator Staff Member Political User Folding Team

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    TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
    You have two cows.
    You sell one and buy a bull.
    Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
    You sell them and retire on the income.

    ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM:
    You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed
    company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at his
    bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with associated general so
    that
    you get all four cows back, with a exemption for five cows.

    The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary a
    Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder Who
    sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.

    The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on
    one more.

    Sell one cow to buy a new president of United States, leaving you
    with
    nine cows.

    No balance sheet provided with the release.

    The public buys your bull.

    AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the
    milk of four cows.

    You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

    A FRENCH CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You go on strike because you want three cows.

    A JAPANESE CORPORATION

    You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size
    of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

    You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market
    them World-Wide.

    A GERMAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.

    You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and
    milk themselves.

    A BRITISH CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    Both are mad.

    AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.

    You break for lunch.

    A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You count them and learn you have five cows.
    You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
    You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
    You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

    A SWISS CORPORATION
    You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
    You charge others for storing them.

    A HINDU CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You worship them.

    A CHINESE CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You have 300 people milking them.
    You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the
    newsman who reported the numbers.

    A WELSH CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    That one on the left is kinda cute
     
  2. Kr0m

    Kr0m Moderator

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  3. Electronic Punk

    Electronic Punk Administrator Staff Member Political User Folding Team

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  4. Static 99

    Static 99 Guest

    DUTCH CORPORATION
    You have two cows. You sell them both (with a huge profit), and steel the milk from your neighbour's cow's.
     
  5. Electronic Punk

    Electronic Punk Administrator Staff Member Political User Folding Team

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    Not smoke one and sell the other on an hourly basis ? :D
     
  6. LightWave

    LightWave OSNN Addict

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    bwhahhahah! :D
     
  7. Khayman

    Khayman I'm sorry Hal... Political User Folding Team

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    Quality stuff :D
     
  8. Static 99

    Static 99 Guest

  9. Jewelzz

    Jewelzz OSNN Godlike Veteran

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  10. Electronic Punk

    Electronic Punk Administrator Staff Member Political User Folding Team

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  11. ZeroHour

    ZeroHour ho3 ho3 ho3

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    This belongs in the Jokes forum.
    Its CLASS
     
  12. PseudoKiller

    PseudoKiller Zug Zug

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    OMFG I cant stop laughing...
     
  13. gonaads

    gonaads Beware the G-Man Political User Folding Team

    Damn this is funny, great shiit :p
     
  14. Henyman

    Henyman Secret Goat Fetish Political User

    :D :moo:
     
  15. Tittles

    Tittles Dabba Dooba Political User

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    alright...was this thread bumped after someone moved it from legacy? cause i'll get started on how i get yelled at for bumpin threads.
     
  16. Electronic Punk

    Electronic Punk Administrator Staff Member Political User Folding Team

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    No I created it yesterday, modified all the dates then added some guest posts for good measure.
     
  17. Henyman

    Henyman Secret Goat Fetish Political User

    [​IMG]
     
  18. SPeedY_B

    SPeedY_B I may actually be insane.

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    <serious>First thread from Legacy bumped in quite a while, as long as you don't bump too many it's ok.</serious>

    Errrr, some comment about moose can go here.
     
  19. Tittles

    Tittles Dabba Dooba Political User

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    uh huh...
     
  20. Jewelzz

    Jewelzz OSNN Godlike Veteran

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    We yell to show we like ya TittleBitties :p