For some reason I can't get XP remote assistance to work.. I've tried it with my father and we have been able to connect before.. I tried it a couple of times with a buddy but no go.. when we try the request is automatically denied (via MSN messenger).. Firewall - I use Tiny Personal Firewall and have been able to use RA with it running. Shutting it off made no difference. I have the XP firewall disabled. Services - are set to automatic or manual. the only one that is 'disabled' is SSDP Discovery Service which I don't think has anything to do with RA. does the service "messenger" need to set to automatic? Windows updates - I have most updates expect for some I am sure I don't need since the programs they are for I don't really use. MSN messenger - do both versions (yours and theirs) have to be the same for RA to work? any ideas what the problem may be?