what not to stick up your bum.

Discussion in 'Green Room' started by oDin, Mar 9, 2003.

  1. oDin

    oDin xp m0nk3y

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    man, you find the weirdest things on the net. i was just clicking the first link i saw on a page. started at go.com and ended up here

    that site has a list of objects that doctors have had to remove from peoples butt holes.

    can you imagine someone sticking a LIVE artillery shell up their poop chute?....crazy
     
  2. Jewelzz

    Jewelzz OSNN Godlike Veteran

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    Unhuh, sure you were :p
     
  3. NetRyder

    NetRyder Tech Junkie Folding Team

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    Ooh errr ... ewww :huh:
     
  4. xsivforce

    xsivforce Prodigal Son Folding Team

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    Thanks for the ideas...I mean...some weird people out there. :confused:
     
  5. NetRyder

    NetRyder Tech Junkie Folding Team

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    LOL! Sicko [​IMG]
     
  6. oDin

    oDin xp m0nk3y

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    errr...umm yea...no prob. don't have to much fun tonite :D :D
     
  7. gonaads

    gonaads Beware the G-Man Political User Folding Team

    Ouuuuuch! :eek:
     
  8. powelly

    powelly Guest

    do you think the pepper pot was put back on the dinning room table ready for the mother-in-law coming to dinner.

    Anyway that reminds me of a story...

    A diver's bad day at the office
    The "Brian" in the following letter is sending this to his sister. He is a commercial diver for Global Divers out of Louisiana.
    Anytime you think you have had a bad day at the office, remember this letter....True story.



    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    April, 1998
    Hi Sue,

    Just another note from your bottom dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of **** sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temp. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a damn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is I take the hose and stuff it down the back of my neck. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a jacuzzi.

    Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my ass started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my ass started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened to me. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. This is even worse than the poison ivy you once had under a cast. Now I had that hose down my back. I don't have any hair on my back, so the jellyfish couldn't get stuck to my back. My ass crack was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into my ass.

    I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the comms. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he along with 5 other divers were laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make 3 agonizing water stops totaling 35 minutes before I could come to the surface. I got to the surface wearing nothing but my brass helmet. My suit and gear were tied to the bell. When I got on board the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to shove it up my ass when I get in the chamber.

    The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't **** for two days because my ******* was swollen shut. I later found out that this could easily have been prevented if the suction hose was placed on the leeward side of the ship.

    Anyway, the next time you have a bad day at the office, think of me. Think about how much worse your day would be if you were to shove a jellyfish up your ass. I hope you have no bad days at the office. But if you do, I hope that thought will make it a little more tolerable. Take care, and I hope to hear from you soon.

    Love,

    Brian
     
  9. Nick M

    Nick M Moderator

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    [​IMG]

    That is the weirdest web page I have ever seen, with some really ****ed up items.
     
  10. Friend of Bill

    Friend of Bill What, me worry?

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    Kinda like the guy that "fell" on the flag pole...:D - This thread should of been posted under "Hardware" anyway...:D :confused:
     
  11. oDin

    oDin xp m0nk3y

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    LOL:D
     
  12. Geffy

    Geffy Moderator Folding Team

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    I met a group of doctors and nurses that had removed a 500g Nescafe tin from a guys ar$e, he had put it up there cause his girlfriend had left him and he thought it would get her back.

    Ladies, comments on this one?