Walmart Computer!!

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by Heeter, Feb 24, 2006.

  1. Heeter

    Heeter Overclocked Like A Mother

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    2,732
    One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to
    Mike, "My elbow hurts like crazy. I guess I better see a doctor."

    "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a
    diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will
    tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten dollars... a lot cheaper than
    a doctor."

    So Joe puts a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart. He deposits ten
    dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the
    sample into the slot and waits.

    Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

    "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will
    improve in two weeks .Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart."

    That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began
    wondering if the computer could be fooled.

    He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife
    and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure. Joe hurried back to Wal-Mart,
    eager to check the results.

    He deposited ten dollars, poured in his concoction, and awaited the results.

    The computer then prints the following:

    1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.(Aisle 9)

    2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)

    3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.

    4. Your wife is pregnant, Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.

    5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.

    Thank you for shopping at
    Wal-Mart
    __________________



    Heeter
     
    omg its nlm likes this.
  2. omg its nlm

    omg its nlm lvl 17 Hax Folding Team

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    Ha thats a funny one!
     
  3. madmatt

    madmatt Bow Down to the King Political User

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    Where do they come up with this stuff.. funny..
     
  4. Mastershakes

    Mastershakes Moderator

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    I read it somewhere before. It's still funny.
     
  5. kcnychief

    kcnychief █▄█ ▀█▄ █ Political User Folding Team

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    Hahaha, nice :)