Two good golf jokes

[zeke121]

Two lawyers, Jon and David, head out for their usual 9 holes of golf. Jon offers David a $50 bet. David agrees and they're off. They do a great game.
After the 8th hole, David is ahead by one stroke, but cuts his ball into the rough on the 9th.

''Help me find my ball. Look over there,'' he says to Jon. After a few minutes, neither have any luck. Since a lost ball carries a four point penalty, David secretly pulls a ball from his pocket and tosses it to the ground. ''I've found my ball!'' he announces.

''After all of the years we've been partners and playing together," Jon says, "you'd cheat me out of a lousy 50 bucks?''

''What do you mean, cheat? I found my ball sitting right there!''

''And you're a liar, too!'' Jon says. ''I've been STANDING on your ball for the last five minutes!''
*************************************************
A golfer stood over his tee shot for what seemed like an eternity.
Looking
up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring just the right wind
direction and speed. Driving his partner absolutely nuts.
Finally, his exasperated partner say, "Why are you taking so long? Just hit
the blasted Ball!!!" The guy answers, "Look, my wife is up there watching me from the
clubhouse.
I want to make this a perfect shot."
"Ah, forget it man, you're never gonna hit her from here..."

 

[xsivforce]

Haha, pretty good.


It's a nice, hot, summer day, and two men are playing golf on a course that is situated near a main road. As he is just about to tee off on the 10th hole, one of the golfers notices a hearse driving slowly along the road. He stops in mid swing and places his club on the ground, turns around, faces the road, and removes his hat in a solemn gesture.

The second golfer turns around to him and says, "Come off it, it's only a hearse."

"But you don't understand. It's my wife's funeral..."