Top 7 Idiots Of 2003

Discussion in 'Green Room' started by GoNz0, Jan 17, 2004.

  1. GoNz0

    GoNz0 NTFS Stoner

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    Number One Idiot of 2003



    I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control centre. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the
    conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.

    Here's your award, lady. Wear it with pride.

    Number Two Idiot of 2003

    Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.

    Here's your award, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.

    Number Three Idiot of 2003

    A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window.

    So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the street told him that she could not
    accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.

    Don't bother with this guy's award. He probably couldn't read it anyway.

    Number four Idiot of 2003

    A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days
    later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.

    Another award (though this guy might be onto something worth thinking about)!

    Number Five Idiot of 2003

    A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21. The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot.
    The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.

    This guy definitely needs a award!

    Idiot Number Six of 2003

    A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

    This guy doesn't need a award, he probably figured it out himself.

    Idiot Number Seven of 2003

    Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a brick through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the brick and heaved it over his head at the window. The brick bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head,
    knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Flexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.



    Give him his award.
     
  2. Mubbers

    Mubbers Shoot! Political User

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    The robber with the whisky! ROFL
     
  3. ming

    ming OSNN Advanced

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    HaHa!! dumbass!!
     
  4. Erbmaster

    Erbmaster Moderator Folding Team

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    hehe, kinda makes you feel good about yourself dunnit ;) :D
    Funny find GoNz0 :cool:
     
  5. Tabula Rasa

    Tabula Rasa Stranger Than Kindness Political User

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    Strange... exactly what I was thinking :)
     
  6. Grandmaster

    Grandmaster Electronica Addict Political User Folding Team

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    Hilarious, great post! :D
     
  7. Henyman

    Henyman Secret Goat Fetish Political User

    what about the admin + the database backups?



    *runs*
     
  8. Tabula Rasa

    Tabula Rasa Stranger Than Kindness Political User

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    Muhahahaha :D
     
  9. arson_nick

    arson_nick OSNN Addict

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    A woman went into a bank, planning to rob it. To keep from looking suspicious, she sat down at first, and started filling out a loan application. She got up and gave a note to the teller, took the money and left. When the police came they found the application she was filling out still on the seat, with her correct name, address, phone number, and social security number.
     
  10. Bman

    Bman OSNN Veteran Original

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    lmao lol haha
     
  11. Kr0m

    Kr0m Moderator

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    Hmm, I was kind of thinking this thread was going to be about George Bush, Saddam Hussein, Michael Jackson and so on. :)
     
  12. Perris Calderon

    Perris Calderon Moderator Staff Member Political User

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    8, 9 and 10
     
  13. Geffy

    Geffy Moderator Folding Team

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  14. gonaads

    gonaads Beware the G-Man Political User Folding Team

    :eek:
    Now we know why ya don't post news anymore. :D
     
  15. Henyman

    Henyman Secret Goat Fetish Political User

    i couldn't be arsed? :p
     
  16. Grandmaster

    Grandmaster Electronica Addict Political User Folding Team

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    Now your asking for it! :p