The Evolution of Mom

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by belveder, Mar 31, 2003.

  1. belveder

    belveder OSNN Senior Addict

    Messages:
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    Location:
    Adelaide, Australia
    The Evolution of Mom

    Yes, parenthood changes everything. But parenthood also changes with
    each baby. Here, some of the ways having a second and third child
    differs from having your first:

    Your clothes
    1st: you begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your ob-gyn
    confirms your pregnancy.
    2nd: you wear regular clothes for as long as possible
    3rd: your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes

    The baby's name:
    1st: You pore over baby name books and practice pronouncing and writing
    combinations of all your favorites
    2nd: someone has to name their kid after your great-aunt Mavis. Might
    as well be you.
    3rd: you open a name book, close your eyes, and see where your finger
    falls. Bimaldo? Perfect!

    Preparing for the birth:
    1st: you practice your breathing religiously
    2nd: you don't bother practicing because you remember that last time,
    breathing didn't do a thing.
    3rd: you ask for an epidermal in your eighth month.

    The layette:
    1st: you prewash your newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and
    fold them neatly in baby's little bureau.
    2nd: you check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only
    the ones with the darkest stains.
    3rd: boys can wear pink, can't they?

    Worries
    1st: at the first sign of distress- a whimper, a frown, you pick up the
    baby.
    2nd: you pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your
    firstborn.
    3rd: you teach your 3 year old how to rewind the mechanical swing

    Activities
    1st: you take your infant to baby gymnastics, baby swing, and baby
    story hour
    2nd: you take your infant to baby gymnastics
    3rd: you take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner

    Going out:
    1st: the first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home
    five times.
    2nd: just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number
    where you can be reached.
    3rd: you leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees
    blood.

    At home:
    1st: you spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby
    2nd: you spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child
    isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
    3rd: you spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children
     
  2. sboulema

    sboulema Moderator

    Messages:
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    Location:
    Amstelveen, The Netherlands
  3. UberBert

    UberBert Guest

    eheheheh good one :D



    -Bert
     
  4. Krux

    Krux Nissan Powered

    Messages:
    1,649


    oohhhh man thats golden since I was the 3yr old that mom tought hahaha :D well I wasn't 3 but I remember doing that when I was like 5