The Evolution of Mom

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by belveder, Mar 31, 2003.

  1. belveder

    belveder OSNN Senior Addict

    Adelaide, Australia
    The Evolution of Mom

    Yes, parenthood changes everything. But parenthood also changes with
    each baby. Here, some of the ways having a second and third child
    differs from having your first:

    Your clothes
    1st: you begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your ob-gyn
    confirms your pregnancy.
    2nd: you wear regular clothes for as long as possible
    3rd: your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes

    The baby's name:
    1st: You pore over baby name books and practice pronouncing and writing
    combinations of all your favorites
    2nd: someone has to name their kid after your great-aunt Mavis. Might
    as well be you.
    3rd: you open a name book, close your eyes, and see where your finger
    falls. Bimaldo? Perfect!

    Preparing for the birth:
    1st: you practice your breathing religiously
    2nd: you don't bother practicing because you remember that last time,
    breathing didn't do a thing.
    3rd: you ask for an epidermal in your eighth month.

    The layette:
    1st: you prewash your newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and
    fold them neatly in baby's little bureau.
    2nd: you check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only
    the ones with the darkest stains.
    3rd: boys can wear pink, can't they?

    1st: at the first sign of distress- a whimper, a frown, you pick up the
    2nd: you pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your
    3rd: you teach your 3 year old how to rewind the mechanical swing

    1st: you take your infant to baby gymnastics, baby swing, and baby
    story hour
    2nd: you take your infant to baby gymnastics
    3rd: you take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner

    Going out:
    1st: the first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home
    five times.
    2nd: just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number
    where you can be reached.
    3rd: you leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees

    At home:
    1st: you spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby
    2nd: you spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child
    isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
    3rd: you spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children
  2. sboulema

    sboulema Moderator

    Amstelveen, The Netherlands
  3. UberBert

    UberBert Guest

    eheheheh good one :D

  4. Krux

    Krux Nissan Powered


    oohhhh man thats golden since I was the 3yr old that mom tought hahaha :D well I wasn't 3 but I remember doing that when I was like 5