The difference between men and womans english

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by Dark Atheist, Dec 28, 2007.

  1. Dark Atheist

    Dark Atheist Moderator Political User Folding Team

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    Location:
    In The Void
    DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONALS ADS

    40-ish................................49
    Adventurous......................Slept with everyone.
    Athletic...............................No breasts.
    Average looking....................Mooooooo.
    Beautiful............................Pathological liar.
    Emotionally Secure................On medication.
    Feminist................................Fat.
    Free spirit...........................Junkie.
    Friendship first......................Former sl*t.
    New-Age............................Body hair in the wrong places.
    Old-fashioned.......................No BJs.
    Open-minded.......................Desperate.
    Outgoing..........................Loud and Embarrassing.
    Professional.........................B*tch.
    Voluptuous..........................Very Fat.
    Large frame........................Hugely Fat.
    Wants Soul mate..................Stalker.

    INTERPRETING WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

    1. Yes = No
    2. No = Yes
    3. Maybe = No
    4. We need = I want
    5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry
    6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
    7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
    8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
    9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!
    10 You're attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

    INTERPRETING MEN'S ENGLISH:

    1. I am hungry = I am hungry
    2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
    3. I am tired = I am tired
    4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
    5. I love you = Let's have sex now.
    6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
    7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
    8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
    9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
    10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
    11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay
     
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  2. BouncingSoul

    BouncingSoul Stranger Than Fiction Political User

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    Sioux Falls, SD
    Classics!

    Reps
     
  3. Absolutely spot on.
     
  4. epk

    epk Moderator Political User Folding Team

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    Location:
    Buenos Aires
    hehe.. yeah

    i have the "interpreting women" in a card someone sent me :D