Thanks to all my friends who sent me such important emails in 2004

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by Hipster Doofus, Dec 12, 2004.

  1. Hipster Doofus

    Hipster Doofus Good grief Charlie Brown

    Messages:
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    Location:
    Melbourne Australia
    Of course this is suppose to be an email. :D So read on >>>

    G'DAY, G'DAY,

    Thanks to all my friends who sent me such important emails in 2004

    It's so wonderful that you included me in your quest to inform!

    Because of the information you sent me, I stopped drinking Coca-Cola. Why? Because you advised me that it's good for removing toilet stains.

    But it didn't stop there. I actually no longer go to the theatre (movies or otherwise) for fear of sitting on a needle and becoming infected with a disease.

    At this moment, I smell awful. But thank goodness I stopped using deodorant. You said it causes cancer.

    I know longer leave my car in any car park, even though I sometimes have to walk about seven blocks. You did say that someone might drug me with a perfume sample and then try to rob me, didn't you?

    Oh yes! I also stopped answering the phone because your e-mail said that I'll be asked to dial a stupid number and then I'd get a high 'phone bill showing I'd made calls to Uganda, Singapore, Tokyo and maybe the Mars Rover.

    Chicken and hamburgers are no longer part of my diet. Because you stated they are nothing more than horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers that are bred in laboratories so that places like McDonalds can sell Big Macs.

    I also stopped drinking anything out of a can - you said that I will get sick from the rat faeces and urine.

    When I go to parties now I don't mix with anybody and sit quietly in a corner. All because you said that someone would take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

    Now the police are after me at present because you said not to pull over as they could be fake policemen trying to kidnap me.

    I went bankrupt from bounced cheques that I wrote, in anticipation of the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I participated in their special e-mail program.

    It's weird, though, that my new mobile 'phone never arrived, and neither did the tickets for my paid vacation to Disneyland. Can you tell me where they went?

    But I am positive all of this happened because of a chain letter I broke or forgot to follow and I received a curse.

    OOPS I ALMOST FORGOT - THIS IS AN IMPORTANT NOTE:

    If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next ten seconds, you will receive increased misinformation for 2005

    So here's to an even better informed 2005 !
     
  2. Jewelzz

    Jewelzz OSNN Godlike Veteran

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    Location:
    California