Texas Gold.

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by Kirrie2001, Sep 9, 2002.

  1. Kirrie2001

    Kirrie2001 Guest

    To the tune of The Beverly Hillbillies.

    Come listen to a story 'bout a man named John,
    A poor ex-marine with his little wanker gone.
    It seems one night after gettin' with the wife,
    She lopped off his dong with the swipe of a knife.
    Penis, that is.
    Clean cut.
    Missed his nuts.
    Well, the next thing you know there's a Ginsu by his side,
    And Lorena's in the car takin' Willie for a ride.
    She soon got tired of her purple-headed friend,
    Tossed him out the window as she went around a bend.
    Curve, that is.
    Tossed the nub.
    In the shrub.
    She went to the cops and confessed to the attack,
    They called out the hounds just to get his weenie back.
    They sniffed and they barked and they pointed "over there"
    To John Wayne's henry that was waving in the air.
    Found, that is.
    By a fence.
    Now peter and John couldn't stay apart for long,
    So a dick doc said, "Hey, I can fix that dong!"
    "A needle and a thread is all we're gonna need"
    And the whole world waited till they heard that Johnny
    Whizzed, that is.
    Straight stream.
    Even seam.
    Well he healed and he hardened and he took his case to
    With a half-assed lawyer cause his assets came up short.
    They cleared her of assault and acquitted him of rape
    And his pecker was the only thing they didn't show on
    Video, that is.
    Case Closed.
    Ya'll sleep on your stomachs now ,
    ya hear?????
  2. Timuwine

    Timuwine Guest

    Man that is really f***ed up