Student Writing

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by canadian_divx, Feb 10, 2006.

  1. canadian_divx

    canadian_divx Canadian_divx

    Found this when i was going through all my old school stuff and thought it was great.

    Swipped from elsewhere

    > When asked to write examples of analogies and
    > metaphors, high school students wrote:

    1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

    2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

    3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

    4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was
    room-temperature Canadian beef.

    5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

    6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

    7. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

    8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.

    9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

    10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled
    with vegetable soup.

    11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie,
    surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

    12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

    13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

    14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
    15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

    16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

    17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the
    East River.

    18. Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

    19. Shots rang out, as shots are known to do.

    20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, his
    plan just might work.

    21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating
    for a while.

    22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame.

    23. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg
    behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

    24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with
    power tools.

    25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
  2. falconguard

    falconguard Carbon based lifeform Political User Folding Team

    ROFL like, whatever.