A Gendarme spots a hire car approaching the Champs Elysees with a rear light out. He beckons the driver to pull over, which he does and winds his window down. The Officer has a good look inside the car and notices that the driver and passenger are conjoined twins, Boaby & Davy from Glasgow. Instead of making an issue over the light out situation he begins to engage in some friendly chat. Gendarme: Ah, you are on holiday my friends? Davy: Aye, that's right big yin. We've been coming every September weekend for the last 9 years. Gendarme: So I guess you come to France to get away from ze rainy weather you have in Ecosse? Davy: Naw, it nearly always pishes doon when we come here. Your weather's nae better than oors, in't that right Boaby? Boaby: Aye. Gendarme: Zen I take it you are here to enjoy our delicious French food. Davy: Naw, yer food's rotten big man, everything reeks of garlic. We've brought a box full of pieces to avoid eating your crap. Gendarme: Zen you must be here to drink our famous wines and cognac, surely. Davy: Yer swally's ****e, we've hid tae bring a kerry oot. In't that right Boaby? Boaby: Aye. Gendarme (by now ever so slightly bemused): Well in that case you must be here to see the Parisienne madamoiselles, ze most beautiful women in Europe. Davy: Yer kiddin in't ye! The burds here are dogs, ah widnae touch them wae yours big yin. Gendarme (by now rather irate): Zen why do you people come to our country if everysing ees so bad? Boaby: It's the only chance oor Davy gets tae drive!