Score one for the MAN

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by sweetlu, Feb 21, 2005.

  1. sweetlu

    sweetlu Gasoline Rainbow

    Messages:
    142
    Location:
    Canada/USA
    One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the
    passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I
    just want you to hold me."

    I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!"

    So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to
    hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough
    for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled
    look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for
    you in the bedroom?"

    Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep. The
    very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We
    went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed dept.
    store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very
    expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll
    just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I
    said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the jewelry department
    where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was
    so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I
    started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet
    when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a
    loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual
    satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation
    she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier". I
    could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like
    it."

    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
    WHAT???!!!" I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff
    for awhile... You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man
    enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she
    had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just
    love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

    Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
     
    ZeroHour likes this.
  2. Kush

    Kush High On Life!

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    4,590
    Location:
    Montreal, Quebec
    lol
     
  3. Admiral Michael

    Admiral Michael Michaelsoft Systems CEO Folding Team

    Very Funny! :D
     
  4. Mainframeguy

    Mainframeguy Debiant by way of Ubuntu Folding Team

    Messages:
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    Location:
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    funny - but I fear for your relationship (sorry to be blunt!) Hope I am not outa line, but I guess this needs to be taken lightly ....

    Man, if she saw this thread you would be DEAD MEAT! :D
     
  5. sweetlu

    sweetlu Gasoline Rainbow

    Messages:
    142
    Location:
    Canada/USA
    dude, this is a joke, not a real life situation that happened to me :p
     
  6. ZeroHour

    ZeroHour ho3 ho3 ho3

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    Location:
    Scotland
    ROFL
    That was ace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!