Score one for the MAN

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by sweetlu, Feb 21, 2005.

  1. sweetlu

    sweetlu Gasoline Rainbow

    One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the
    passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I
    just want you to hold me."

    I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!"

    So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to
    hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough
    for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled
    look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for
    you in the bedroom?"

    Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep. The
    very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We
    went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed dept.
    store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very
    expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll
    just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I
    said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the jewelry department
    where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was
    so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I
    started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet
    when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a
    loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual
    satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation
    she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier". I
    could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like

    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
    WHAT???!!!" I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff
    for awhile... You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man
    enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she
    had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just
    love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

    Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
    ZeroHour likes this.
  2. Kush

    Kush High On Life!

    Montreal, Quebec
  3. Admiral Michael

    Admiral Michael Michaelsoft Systems CEO Folding Team

    Very Funny! :D
  4. Mainframeguy

    Mainframeguy Debiant by way of Ubuntu Folding Team

    London, UK
    funny - but I fear for your relationship (sorry to be blunt!) Hope I am not outa line, but I guess this needs to be taken lightly ....

    Man, if she saw this thread you would be DEAD MEAT! :D
  5. sweetlu

    sweetlu Gasoline Rainbow

    dude, this is a joke, not a real life situation that happened to me :p
  6. ZeroHour

    ZeroHour ho3 ho3 ho3

    That was ace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!