roommate question...

[Tuffgong4]

I don't have roommates this is just a situation a friend is in and I'm curious what other people think. I will use numbers to describe the roommates so you don't see that word over and over again. ok here goes...

#1 has all the bills in her name. #2 has told her that when the bills need to be paid, tell her and she will give her the money. #1 doesn't say anything over three or four months and then just walks up to #2 and says I need (I think it was near) 300 dollars for the past bills. Is that right? Most people have a certain amount of money per month and have no problems paying bills when they need to be in, but when, in this case, #1 doesn't say anything to #2 and #2 is wondering what's going on with the bills #1 just throws it at her all at once.

There is more to this situation

#2 has bought literally every single thing for the apartment...all cleaning supplies, toilet paper, paper towels, silverware, kitchen appliances, tables for the living room, cheese, milk, bread, tylenol...you get the point, EVERYTHING. Also everything that #1 has bought goes in her ROOM! and isn't used by #2. #2 has let #1 borrow her car while barely ever getting gas money or a thank you for any of it. #1 uses #2's stuff all the time and leaves it filthy, or doesn't tell her and #2 can't find things. Also #2 has cleaned the apartment every single time it needs it and has to re clean when #1 "cleans"

I'm thinking these two things cancel each other out. That's just my opinion. Let me have your's

 

[LeeJend]

Solution is easy. Avoid roomates.

Aside from that if they insist roomates - the verbalcontract needs to be a written contract:

Bills In #1 name, amount to be provided monthly on or before date xx-xx-xx to #2.

Common suppies, soaps, tp, tissues bouthg by #x

etc.

No ambiguity, no issues.

Good luck convincing oyur average woman to use this apporach. (Ducks punch from Marge.)

 

[Evil Marge]

(Ducks punch from Marge.)

I'll get you one day when you least expect it :laugh:

 

[muzikool]

While I don't agree with #1's approach to collecting bills, #2 knows that electricity, phone, etc. is being used and should expect money to be owed monthy. If #2 doesn't hear anything about bills from #1, then #2 NEEDS TO ASK #1 about what is owed EACH MONTH. It is #1's responsibility to communicate it, but it's also #2's responsibility to share the cost of bills. If she wants to pay monthly, then she might have to ask about it.

As for the sharing of supplies... most of my college friends would write their names on any food products they would purchase. They simply made it clear that those products could only be used by the person whose name was on it. Now, this might not work for your friend #2 if #1 doesn't pay any mind to that system. #2 might have to resort to #1's tactics and put towels, toilet paper, etc. in her room.

Ultimately, it's a lack of communication that is the biggest problem. It's the biggest problem between roommates, friends, colleagues, married couples, etc. #2 needs to communicate to #1 that not only should bills be shared, but so should supplies and food. If there is a legitimate friendship between them then they will respect each other, want to live in peace and harmony and be willing to sacrifice a bit in order to make the living situation better.

 

[Tittles]

I got confused after the bill part .

 

[muzikool]

I got confused after the bill part .

Not that you shouldn't have an opinion, but since you haven't left home yet and had these types of roommate situations, then it's probably not going to make as much sense.

 

[Tuffgong4]

to Muzi...the communication was there...where #2 would ask #1 what she owed and #1 would just say "don't worry about that now we'll worry about it later." So it got old for #2. Also they had a plan where for all common expenses (like toilet paper, and such) they would put money in and they would each pay for things...well #1 stopped doing that as well all together and #2 got stuck with doing and buying everything. There were even times when friends of theirs' knew what #1 was like and bought certain things while they were visiting like toilet paper.

The communication was there in the beginning, but the verbal stuff that was agreed to wasn't followed through

 

[muzikool]

OK, I gotcha. #1 is definitely at fault if she has not carried through with the original plan. If #2 approached her about bills and #1 didn't let her know what to pay, then that sucks. Still, #2 could have gone further and written a check for something reasonable. If the amount wasn't enough to cover that month, then #1 probably would have said something. It's not fair that #2 would have to go that far to keep up with paying on a monthly basis, but it's not like #2 had no choice but to wait for #1 to give her the amount.

#1 has not been responsible or respectful to #2, and I agree that #2 has had the crap end of the deal. I would encourage #2 to make some kind of inventory of what she has personally purchased for both of them to use, to figure out how much she has spent, and then talk to #1 about deducting some of that expense from the bills she owes. I think that's fair in this situation.

 

[Tuffgong4]

I agree totally muzi...kind of figure out the difference and settle it that way. that was my advice to them but we'll have to see how well that goes over

 

[LeeJend]

That will go over like a lead ballon. #1 only asked because she needs the money now.

Back to my previous comment. All financial arrangements in any situation need to be written, not verbal. Roommating (hmm...) is no different from a sublet or marriage. Both covered by extensive laws and contracts.

You guys will understand these situations better when you are a couple decades older. (That shot was for tittles!)

(Peers cautiously around forum looking for Marge's revenge.)

 

[muzikool]

Written contracts are definitlely important because that's what you have to fall back on. In the (sad) case that these types of things go to court, a written contract is the gold in that situation.

 

[Tuffgong4]

written is always better but friends usually don't think that a written agreement is necessary...which is sad cause if things are written they normally have nothing to argue over and end up staying friends...

 

[muzikool]

Yep. They think, "oh, we're such good friends that we'll never have any problems!"

Mistake.

 

[LordOfLA]

MFG and myself recently came to a written agreement of sorts since my emergency screen replacement has stretched me so thin I'm on a knife edge budget at the moment.

Having financial arrangments written down is certainly a big help. In our case it meant MFG was able to list everything I owe him and what he pays me in terms of his share of the fixed bills and I was able to see what I owed and worked out the best way of organizing things.

Its better that way, rather than trying to keep a running total in your heads allthe time.