Romantic Scots

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by Dark Atheist, Jun 4, 2008.

  1. Dark Atheist

    Dark Atheist Moderator Political User Folding Team

    In The Void
    [FONT=&quot] Who said Scots Romance is dead! These are REAL ADS from the
    lonely-hearts column.

    Grossly overweight Buckie turf-cutter, 42 years old and 23 stone,
    Gemini, seeks nimble sexpot, preferably South American, for tango
    sessions, candlelit dinners and humid nights of screaming passion.
    Must have own car and be willing to travel. Box 09/08

    Aberdeen man, 50, in desperate need of a ride. Anything considered.

    Heavy drinker, 35, Glasgow area, seeks gorgeous sex addict
    interested in pints, fags, Celtic football club and starting scraps
    on Sauchiehall Street at three in the morning. Box 73/82.

    Bitter, disillusioned Dundonian lately rejected by longtime fiancée
    seeks decent, honest, reliable woman, if such a thing still exists
    in this cruel world of hatchet-faced bitches. Box /41

    Ginger-haired Paisley troublemaker, gets slit-eyed and shirty after
    a few scoops, seeks attractive, wealthy lady for bail purposes,
    maybe more Box 84/87

    Artistic Edinburgh woman, 53, petite, loves rainy walks on the
    beach, writing poetry, unusual sea-shells and interesting brown rice
    dishes, seeks mystic dreamer for companionship, back rubs and more
    as we bounce along like little tumbling clouds on life's beautiful
    crazy journey. Strong stomach essential Box 12/32

    Chartered accountant, 42, seeks female for marriage. Duties will
    include cooking, light cleaning and accompanying me to office social
    functions. References required. No timewasters. Box 3/45

    Bad-tempered, foul-mouthed old bastard living in a damp cottage in
    the arse end of Orkney seeks attractive 21-year old blonde lady with
    big chest. Box 40/27

    Devil-worshiper, Stirling area, seeks like-minded lady for wining
    and dining, good conversation, dancing, romantic walks and
    slaughtering dogs in cemeteries at midnight under the flinty light
    of a pale moon. Box 52/07

    Attractive brunette, Maryhill area, winner of Miss Wrangler
    competition at Frampton's Nightclub, Maryhill, in September 1978,
    seeks nostalgic man who's not afraid to cry, for long nights spent
    comfort-drinking and listening to old Abba records. Please, Please!
    Box 30/41

    Govan man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes, seeks alibi for
    the night of February 27 between 8pm and 11.30pm[/FONT]