Relationships

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by coathanger007, Oct 24, 2003.

  1. coathanger007

    coathanger007 Tomorrow Tweaking Today

    Messages:
    1,520
    Location:
    Australia
    ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
    >> > >Smart man + smart woman = romance
    >> > >Smart man + dumb woman = affair
    >> > >Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
    >> > >Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
    >> > >
    >> > >
    >> > >
    >> > > SHOPPING MATH
    >> > >
    >> > >A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
    >> > >A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't
    >> > >need.
    >> > >GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
    >> > >A woman worries about the future until she gets a
    >> > >husband.
    >> > >A man never worries about the future until he gets a
    >> > >wife.
    >> > >A successful man is one who makes more money than
    >> > >his wife can spend.
    >> > >A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
    >> > >
    >> > >
    >> > >
    >> > > HAPPINESS
    >> > >
    >> > > > >
    >> > > > > To be happy with a man, you must understand him a
    >> > > >lot and love him a little.
    >> > > > >
    >> > > > > To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
    >> > > >and not try to understand
    >> > > > > her at all.
    >> > > > >
    >> > > > >
    >> > > > > LONGEVITY
    >> > > > >
    >> > > > > Married men live longer than single men do, but
    >> > > >married men are a lot more
    >> > > > > willing to die.
    >> > > > >
    >> > > > >
    >> > > > > PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
    >> > > > >
    >> > > > >
    >> > > > > A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but
    >> > > >he doesn't.
    >> > > > >
    >> > > > > A man marries a woman expecting that she won't
    >> > > >change, and she does.
    >> > > > >
    >> > > > >
    >> > > > > DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
    >> > > > >
    >> > > > > A woman has the last word in any argument.
    >> > > > >
    >> > > > > Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a
    >> > > >new argument.
    >> > > > >
    >> > > > >
    >> > > > > HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING
    >> > > >MARRIED
    >> > > > >
    >> > > > > Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking
    >> > > >me in the ribs and
    >> > > > > cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped
    >> > > >after I started doing the
    >> > > > > same thing to them at funerals.
    >> > > > >
     
  2. Codasmd

    Codasmd Old School XPeriencer

    Messages:
    495
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA.
    Oh man...that last line is hilarious.
     
  3. Bronx Bomber

    Bronx Bomber Guest

    yea, that last line is definetly the funniest