Read Them and Cringe

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by roirraW "edor" ehT, Jun 10, 2008.

  1. roirraW "edor" ehT

    roirraW "edor" ehT Builder/Installer

    Messages:
    529
    Read Them and Cringe

    1 . Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love
    and get married. The ceremony wasn't much,
    but the reception was excellent.

    2. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says,
    "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?"
    The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."

    3. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender
    says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

    4. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a
    salted.

    5. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

    6. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt
    under his arm and says:
    "A beer please, and one for the road."

    7. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says
    to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

    8. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green
    Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones
    Syndrome." "Is it common?" "It's Not Unusual."

    9. Two cows standing next to each other in a field,
    Daisy says to Dolly,"I was artificially inseminate
    this morning." "I don't believe you," said Dolly. "It's
    true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.

    10. An invisible man marries an invisible woman.
    The kids were nothing to look at either.

    11.Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this
    bull before.

    12. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and
    says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything
    you can do for him?" "Well," says the vet,
    "let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog
    up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.
    Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him
    down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?" "No,
    because he's really heavy."

    13. Apparently, one in five people in the world
    are Chinese. And there are five people in my
    family, so it must be one of them. It's either my
    mom or my dad, or maybe my older brother
    Colin or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu.
    But I'm pretty sure it's Colin.

    14. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the
    other day but I couldn't find any.

    15. I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet
    him 50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off
    the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too
    high."

    16. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious
    accident. He shouted,
    "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor
    replied, "I know youcan't - I've cut off your arms!"

    17. I went to a seafood disco last week... and
    pulled a mussel.

    18. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly;
    but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving
    that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

    19. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

    20. Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is
    the bar tender here?"

    21. A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender
    says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."
     
  2. Aprox

    Aprox Moderator Political User

    Messages:
    2,737
    Location:
    California, USA
    Oh man, at first I just smiled... but slowly as I went down the list I gave in to the cheesy humor and started to laugh my ass off. Good stuff :)
     
  3. roirraW "edor" ehT

    roirraW "edor" ehT Builder/Installer

    Messages:
    529
    How about a big resounding *GROAN*? :D
     
  4. falconguard

    falconguard Carbon based lifeform Political User Folding Team

    Messages:
    3,406
    Location:
    SoCal
    Zerohour's gonna be looking for you, for forum infringement. :D
     
  5. roirraW "edor" ehT

    roirraW "edor" ehT Builder/Installer

    Messages:
    529
    :)

    Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says
    to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

    always brings a smile to my face.
     
  6. Admiral Michael

    Admiral Michael Michaelsoft Systems CEO Folding Team

    This is my kind of humor. My one friend calls me the pun-isher :p
     
    roirraW "edor" ehT likes this.
  7. roirraW "edor" ehT

    roirraW "edor" ehT Builder/Installer

    Messages:
    529
    LOL, I like it!