Osama!

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by Guybrush, Oct 24, 2002.

  1. Guybrush

    Guybrush Village Idiot

    Messages:
    174
    Location:
    Skidby-East Yorkshire
    Osama's Cave

    From: Bin Laden, Osama

    To: All Al Queda Fighters

    Subject: The Cave

    Hi guys.



    We've all been putting in long hours recently but we've really come together

    as a group and I love that! However, while we are fighting a jihad, we can't

    forget to take care of the cave, and frankly I have a few concerns:



    First of all, while it's good to be concerned about cruise missiles, we

    should be even more concerned about the dust in our cave. We want to avoid

    excessive dust inhalation, (a health and safety issue) so we need to sweep

    the cave daily. I've done my bit on the cleaning rota ...have you? I've

    posted a sign-up sheet near the cave reception area(next to

    the halal toaster).



    Second, it's not often I make a video address but when I do, I'm trying to

    scare the **** out of most of the world's population, okay? That means that

    while we're taping, please do not ride your scooter in the background or

    keep doing the 'Wassup' thing. Thanks.



    Third: Food. I bought a box of Dairylea recently, clearly wrote "Ossy" on

    the front, and put it on the top shelf. Today, two of my Dairylea slices

    were gone. Consideration. That's all I'm saying.



    Fourth: I'm not against team spirit and all that, but we must distance

    ourselves from the Infidel's bat and ball games. Please do not chant Ossy

    Ossy Ossy, Oy Oy Oy" when I ride past on the donkey. Thanks.



    Five: Graffiti. To whoever wrote "OSAMA F***S DONKEYS" on the group toilet

    wall, it's a lie. The donkey backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself

    at the edge of the mountain.



    Six: The use of chickens is strictly for food. Assam, the old excuse that

    the 'chicken backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself at the edge of

    the mountain' will not be accepted in future. (With donkeys, there is a grey

    area.)



    Finally, we've heard that there may be Western soldiers in disguise trying

    to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for them. First

    patrol will be Omar, Muhammad, Abdul, Akbar and Dave.



    Love you lots, Group Hug. Os.



    PS - I'm sick of having "Osama's Bed Linen" scribbled on my laundry bag. Cut

    it out, it's not funny anymore.





    :D
     
  2. funky dredd

    funky dredd Moderator

    Messages:
    2,346
    Location:
    Florida
    Lol....good one!
     
  3. Alan

    Alan its only fun

    Messages:
    640
    Location:
    In a house
    rotflmao :):)



    [​IMG]
     
  4. Kirrie2001

    Kirrie2001 Guest

    :D :D :D . Love it Guybrush.
     
  5. Gary Pandher

    Gary Pandher Moderator

    Messages:
    884
    lol too jokes
    nice one