The Best of Carnac the Magnificent Carnac the Magnificent was one of the highlights of the Johnny Carson Show. In the ongoing sketch, Carnac would draw a sealed envelope from a mayonnaise jar, and hold it to his forehead. He would then answer the question sealed inside the envelope. What is missing here is his delivery. Great sketch - and you might get lucky enough to find it on Nickoleodeon. A: Gatorade. Q: What does an alligator get on welfare? A: Bible belt. Q: What holds up Oral Roberts' pants? A: Milk and honey. Q: What do you get from a bee that has an udder? A: Clean air, a virgin and a gas station open on Sunday. Q: Name three things you won't find in Los Angeles. A: Black and white and twenty feet tall. Q: Describe Sister Mary Kong. A: Ben Gay. Q: Why didn't Mrs. Franklin have any kids? A: An unmarried woman. Q: What was Elizabeth Taylor between 3 and 5 pm on June 1, 1952? A: Disjoint. Q: What was dat hippie smoking? A: The Laughing Policeman. Q: What do you call a cop who frisks himself? A: Dustin Hoffman. Q: Describe someone cleaning his Hoffman. A: Until he gets caught. Q: How long does a United States Congressman serve? A: Old wives tale. Q: What do cannibals find hard to digest? A: Rub-a-dub-dub. Q: What does a masseuse do to your dub-dub? A: Shareholder. Q: What did Sonny Bono used to be? A: Skalliwags. Q: What does your skalli do when it's happy? A: David Frost. Q: On a cold morning what forms on your david? A: Head and shoulders. Q: What do you see if you open the trunk of the Godfather's car? A: Hickory Dickory Dock. Q: Who do you go to when you have a pain in your hickory dickory? A: "Rose Bowl." Q: What do you say when it's Rose's turn at the bowling alley? A: That darn cat. Q: Who ruined that darn rug? A: High rollers. Q: Describe a stoned bowling team. A: Gunga din. Q: What do you hear when you put an amplifier in your gunga? A: "Follow the yellow brick road." Q: What are good directions to a urologist's office? A: At both ends. Q: Where do New Yorkers put their dogs muzzles? A: Igloo. Q: What do you use to keep your ig from falling off? A: R-O-L-A-I-D-S. Q: How does a stupid person spell "backgammon"? A: Grape Nuts. Q: What are Ernest and Julio Gallo? A: Supervisor. Q: What does Clark Kent wear to keep the sun out of his eyes? A: Crabgrass. Q: What do crabs get high on? A: Shake-N-Bake. Q: Describe a double feature with Earthquake and The Towering Inferno. A: Blazing Saddles. Q: What do they put on horses at the Preparation H Ranch? A: Flypaper. Q: What do you use to gift wrap a zipper? A: Deep freeze. Q: Name an Eskimo porno film. A: Bedbug. Q: What would Republicans use to eavesdrop on a hooker?