Martha's or Maxine's Way?

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by Hipster Doofus, Feb 25, 2006.

  1. Hipster Doofus

    Hipster Doofus Good grief Charlie Brown

    Melbourne Australia
    1/ *Martha's Way*
    Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

    *Maxine's Way*
    Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it, anyway!

    2/ *Martha's Way*
    To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

    *Maxine's Way*
    Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix, keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

    3/ *Martha's Way*
    When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

    *Maxine's Way*
    Go to the bakery! They'll even decorate it for you.

    4/ *Martha's Way*
    If you accidentally oversalt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up."

    *Maxine's Way*
    If you oversalt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!"

    5/ *Martha's Way*
    Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.

    *Maxine's Way*
    Celery? Never heard of it!

    6/ *Martha's Way*
    Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.

    *Maxine's Way*
    The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust so I don't.

    7/ *Martha's Way*
    Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

    *Maxine's Way*
    Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink!

    8/ *Martha's Way*
    If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

    *Maxine's Way*
    Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you.

    9/ *Martha's Way*
    Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

    *Maxine's Way*
    Leftover wine???????????
    HELLO !!!!!!!
  2. Henyman

    Henyman Secret Goat Fetish Political User

    lmfao there good :D
  3. Admiral Michael

    Admiral Michael Michaelsoft Systems CEO Folding Team