Its a dogs life

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by ZeroHour, Jul 6, 2004.

  1. ZeroHour

    ZeroHour ho3 ho3 ho3

    Day number 180

    8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
    9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
    9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
    10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
    11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
    12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
    1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
    4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
    5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
    5:30 pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!


    DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling
    objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry
    cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and
    the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of
    furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

    DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their
    feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top
    of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile
    oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite
    chair...must try this on their bed.

    DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an
    attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike
    fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a
    good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.

    DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good
    reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included
    a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent
    such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck
    between my teeth.

    DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was
    placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise
    and smell the foul door of the glass tubes they call "beer". More
    importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of
    "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

    DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and may be
    snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to
    return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got
    to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he
    reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room
    his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of
  2. delta4s

    delta4s BLACK HAWK ALOFT

    Bangalore, India
    great one Zero :D