If Men Wrote Advice Columns!!!!

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by ZeroHour, Apr 11, 2006.

  1. ZeroHour

    ZeroHour ho3 ho3 ho3

    Q. My husband wants a threesome with my friend & me

    A. Obviously your husband can’t get enough of you. Knowing that there is only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing, your best friend! Far from being an issue, this can only bring you closer together. Why not get some of your old college roommates involved too? If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you! If you’re still not sure just perform oral sex on him & cook him a nice meal while you think about it!

    Q. My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him?

    A. Do it. Semen can help you lose weight & can gives a great glow to your skin. Interestingly men know this! His offer to allow you perform oral sex on him is totally selfless! This shows he loves you. The best thing to do is to thank him by performing this twice a day & then cook him a nice meal.

    Q. My husband has too many nights out with the boys?

    A. This is perfectly natural behaviour & should be encouraged. The man is a hunter & needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young single girls is great stress relief & can foster & more peaceful & relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two (It’s a great time to clean the house too!). Just look at how emotional & happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do when he returns home is for you & your best friend to perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal.

    Q. My husband doesn’t know where my clitoris is?

    A. Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it do it in your own time or ask your best friend to help! You may wish to video yourself whilst doing this & present it to him as a birthday gift! To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him & cook him a delicious meal.

    Q. My husband is uninterested in foreplay?

    A. You are a bad person for bringing it up & should seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to man is very time consuming & stressful. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you should. He should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral sex on him & cooking him a nice meal.

    Q. My husband always has an orgasm & then rolls over & goes to sleep without giving me one.

    A. I’m not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you’ve forgotten to cook him a nice meal?
  2. Admiral Michael

    Admiral Michael Michaelsoft Systems CEO Folding Team


    Funny how they all end with the same course of action!