If aol was a city.

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by bobsalot, Feb 23, 2006.

  1. bobsalot

    bobsalot Boooooooooooooooooooom

    Broadstairs, UK
    1. You'd live in a place where no two people had the same name. ​
    2. You'd only pay $21.95 a month to live there, but half the time you tried to leave your house, the door would be stuck. ​
    3. Once you got outside, even if you were in a hurry, you'd be assaulted by slimy little door-to-door sales creeps offering you great AOL 14.4 modems for only $399.99. ​
    4. The commute to work is just a double-click away, but every time you try to leave your driveway, the flow of traffic knocks you back into your yard. ​
    5. The local post office would tell your mother you're not a known resident. ​
    6. The local post office won't forward your mail to you when you move. ​
    7. If you saw a crime and called 911, they'd reply a week later with a form letter saying how you "really are important to us." ​
    8. Every time you went shopping, you'd be kicked out of the store by a bouncer screaming, "We're Sorry, This Store is Temporarily Unavailable" ​
    9. Whenever you traveled to other cities, people would see your license tag and laugh at you, behind your back. ​
    10. You'd occasionally be sent home during your day by another bouncer telling you that the city has performed an illegal operation. ​
    11. You'd not have any idea who your neighbors are, and most new arrivals would move in at night, stuff everyone's mailbox with garbage, and vacate before sun-up. ​
    12. The administration would build a huge, state of the art park, and allow the kids to play there free, then suddenly start demanding money.​
    Son Goku and omg its nlm like this.
  2. omg its nlm

    omg its nlm lvl 17 Hax Folding Team

    Nice Post!
  3. Steevo

    Steevo Spammer representing. Political User Folding Team

    I hate AOL. I threatened to get a divorce if any AOL CD is ever inserted into my computer.
  4. kcnychief

    kcnychief █▄█ ▀█▄ █ Political User Folding Team

    *mails AOL CD to Mrs. Steevo*

  5. bobsalot

    bobsalot Boooooooooooooooooooom

    Broadstairs, UK
    the funny thing is i am using aol at the moment.
  6. Mastershakes

    Mastershakes Moderator


    *laughs that you still get them*

    should be behind your back, forever.
  7. Son Goku

    Son Goku No lover of dogma

    It's fair to poke fun at America Offline... I feel about the same way concerning them as I do Mr. Rawlsky, who got nailed by the Slashdot community for being the king of spam who's sent out 1 billion unsolicited spams per day :eek: Funnier yet, was when he expressed extreme distress at receiving only a fraction of his unsolicited mail, delivered back at his own doorstep :D

    Oh a side note, I sent a complaint to the BBB about their CDs. They claimed that they took me off their mailing list, but I got another CD in the mail last month. When I filed another complaint, they only wrote back to say they removed me from the list, but in no way addressed the new CD they sent out anyhow... I'm holding them to their agreement :)