Will be visiting the island again next month hopefully, so here is last years... It's not a finished "article" but I don't think it will be anymore complete than it is now, as stuff that was a blurry vision they day after it happened, just won't come back now!! Punk’s Ibiza Journal Remixed. This is a quick recap of what occurred on my week in Ibiza, as I would most likely forget what happened. This is a recap of posts I made to NTFS. I went with two blokes (Lee and Mark) and three girls (Vicki, Claire and Clare) Somewhere in an internet café in San Antonio, Ibiza - I Just paid 2 euros for 30 minutes in an internet cafe. The machine I was given had crashed and I had to be shown how to use the computer, as if I had broken it I feel the European **** would have hit the fan. Friday It is strange how early you have to get up just to fly on a plane for 2 hours. Needless to say we left Salisbury at something am and arrived in Ibiza Town some time in the early evening. After carefully unpacking our clothes into a dedicated bundle underneath our beds we headed out of the Mar y Vent hotel and, as I am no Ibiza newbie, turned left. We blokes walked down sunset strip and watched the sun set (the girls were still discussing what colour blush needed to be applied for layer 5) while Pete Tong played on BBC Radio1, the place was packed and the beer was expensive... A 33cl bottle was 4 euros, in comparison; I just bought a litre bottle of the stuff from the local spar for 1 euro, not only that but it was the stronger stuff. The percentages elude me. We met up with the ladies and decided to wonder down into the west end for a quiet night, immediately getting grabbed and taken into a place called Gorms. 4 euros for a drink, expensive like I said, but this one was buy one get one free, came with 2 free shots of apple schnapps and a bottle of vodka, nasty evil dirty immoral vodka. Suffice to say I got drunk and seem to remember us all crawling back home at about 7am. Saturday Next day, or at least 4 hours later we had to get up to meet our reps, sound people who pretty much look after you and take you on the piss and that, oh and take you to bars so they can get commission and free drinks. Got a bit of a tan then we wondered into town again, had a dirt cheap Chinese for 7 euros. Then I had something to eat. We went to our first club on Saturday night; a place called Eden on a night called Retro. I am not such a fan of retro music but it was only 9 euros with tickets from our reps... I can’t argue with that and dragged everyone into the funky backroom, the floor was so wet and I was dancing all over the place, the dance moves remain with me to this day. I was sweating so much it may as well have been raining in there. Once again crawled to bed about 6am, had a nice nights sleep and got up about 1pm. Sunday We wondered around town for a bit and then went on a nice sunset cruise where we watched the sun set from in front of Cafe Del Mar etc.´- saw Robbie Williams apartment, George Michaels house, some princess and the place in batman 3 where the bat boat came out apparently. We got pissed on the boat and decided it would be a really good idea to dance until I couldn’t walk in the club, Play2, which we went to. Monday Before I go on I must say that gin, tequila, vodka and whisky all taste the same over here, pretty damn bizarre! They also love dishing out those free apple schnapps. The bastards. We (the blokes) went to a foam party was fun and I got talking to a really nice Scottish bird so after a bit of a swim, and choke! (When you came up for air you got bubbles) retired back to the hotel for a rest. We then went to a bar called Hollywoods for a 2 hour all you can drink free bar, sadly I didn’t get to drink much because I actually think someone spiked my drink, but being as resilient as I am I actually enjoyed it and was bouncing around a really small club to the soothing tunes and sounds of the transvestite DJ playing there, who also felt it was necessary to pour cheap champagne all over naked ladies. That night we went to Manumission. Manumission is the most expensive night in Ibiza at the biggest club in the world. You just can’t imagine the scale of this place, you walk in the main room - it’s a damn aircraft hanger, then you go into the other room and there are two fans above the door to cool you off. Armed with some glow sticks I bumped into three mates from Gatecrasher, my local Sheffield club, which was amazing. The music was fantastic and I was teaching all my mates how to dance with said glow sticks, as well as the odd enthusiastic good looking ladies demanding to know where I had learnt to do that. I was thirsty and drank only three bottles of water in there. This cost me 24 euros, that 18 pounds, that 24 dollars. It was water. Well **** me! It was necessary though, as I was sweating like a ten dollar whore. Then the ladies came on the stage. They were all singing, all dancing, all nekkid. There was also a dwarf and the rock god of manumission, naked trapeze and that one where they swing from the ceiling. It’s so nice to have a break from clubbing to watch such ****ed up events. I couldn’t stay until the end though and left at 6, but after all I do have more clubbing to do and have a tendency to wear myself out in the first 2 hours. Every morning I have woken up with a stiff neck, shoulders and arms. I think I need a sensual massage. Tuesday I discovered that Lee had actually walked back from Manumission with Claire. It was a 15 mile walk. “I’m not waiting for the free bus!” Needless to say he slept in somewhat that day and I think Claire was ill for the rest of the holiday. This is where the holiday gets a little fussy, Tuesday and Wednesday; I think we just went out on the piss, without our girls, but the Scottish ones. One of them, who’s name eludes me, got mugged while walking back from the club, I spotted her coming in and phoned up cancelled her credit cards etc. She didn’t want to be left alone so I stayed the night (as she also thought people were breaking into her room and stealing her underwear). Then her room mate came home a few hours later. Remember the expression on her face as I answered just wearing boxer shorts. I can’t remember much else. It could well have had something to with an interesting cocktail called Bubblegum, which contained Aftershock and red bull. Here is how I ended my holiday. - 1 shot blue aftershock (40% alcohol) - 1 shot red aftershock (40% alcohol) - 1 shot absinthe (80% alcohol) Pour all three shots into the ****tail glass and swirl them around the ****tail glass (covering the edges and observing the mixture turning black). Empty the contents into a shot glass and take a lighter and light the liquid remaining in the ****tail glass. Swirl it around and stamp it down (mouth below) on the bar. Take a funnel and inhale the now smoking ****tail glass. Down the shot. Relight the ****tail glass, and restamp, inhale the contents. Then do what comes naturally. Friday Lee spent most of the day making a big call on the porcelain telephone. I think there is a moral there. We flew back. England was cold. It still is.