High Tech Computer Sales Jargon

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by belveder, Jul 20, 2003.

  1. belveder

    belveder OSNN Senior Addict

    Adelaide, Australia
    High Tech Computer Sales Jargon

    NEW - Different color from previous design.

    ALL NEW - Parts not interchangable with previous design.

    EXCLUSIVE - Imported product.

    UNMATCHED - Almost as good as the competition.

    DESIGNED SIMPLICITY - Manufacturers cost cut to the bone.

    FOOLPROOF OPERATION - No provision for adjustments.

    ADVANCED DESIGN - The advertising agency doesnt understand it.

    ITS HERE AT LAST! - Rush job; Nobody knew it was coming.

    FIELD-TESTED - Manufacturer lacks test equipment.

    HIGH ACCURACY - Unit on which all parts fit.

    DIRECT SALES ONLY - Factory had big argument with distributor.

    YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT - We finally got one that works.

    REVOLUTIONARY - Its different from our competitiors.

    BREAKTHROUGH - We finally figured out a way to sell it.

    FUTURISTIC - No other reason why it looks the way it does.

    DISTINCTIVE - A different shape and color than the others.

    MAINTENANCE-FREE - Impossible to fix.

    RE-DESIGNED - Previous faults corrected, we hope....

    HAND-CRAFTED - Assembly machines operated without gloves on.

    PERFORMANCE PROVEN - Will operate through the warranty period.

    MEETS ALL STANDARDS - Ours, not yours.

    ALL SOLID-STATE - Heavy as Hell!.

    BROADCAST QUALITY - Gives a picture and produces noise.

    HIGH RELIABILITY - We made it work long enough to ship it.

    SMPTE BUS COMPATABILE - When completed, will be shipped by Greyhound.

    NEW GENERATION - Old design failed, maybe this one will work.

    MIL-SPEC COMPONENTS - We got a good deal at a government auction.

    CUSTOMER SERVICE ACROSS THE COUNTRY - You can return it from most airports.

    UNPRECEDENTED PERFORMANCE - Nothing we ever had before worked THIS way.

    BUILT TO PRECISION TOLERANCES - We finally got it to fit together.

    SATISFACTION GUARANTEED - Manufacturers, upon cashing your check.

    MICROPROCESSOR CONTROLLED - Does things we cant explain.

    LATEST AREOSPACE TECHNOLOGY - One of our techs was laid off by Boeing.
  2. Bootsy

    Bootsy Huh?

    Miami, Fl
    hahaha thats pretty funny