A Fisherman's Tale Two fellas are fishing in a boat under a bridge. One looks up and sees a funeral procession starting across the bridge. He stands up, takes off his cap, and bows his head. The procession crosses the bridge and the man puts on his cap, picks up his rod and reel, and continues fishing. The other guy says, "That was touching. I didn't know you had it in you." The first guy responds, "Well, I guess it was the thing to do - after all, I was married to her for 40 years." Rules of Bedroom Golf 1 Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play. 2 Play must be permitted by the owner of the hole. 3 Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out. 4 For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins. 5 Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole. 6 The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the course owner is satisfied that play is completed. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the course again. 7 It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. The experienced player will normally take time to admire the entire course with special attention to well-formed bunkers. 8 Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played, or are currently playing, to the owner of the course being played. Angry course owners have been known to damage players' equipment for this reason. 9 Players are encouraged to bring proper rain gear for their own protection. 10 Players should ensure that the match has been properly scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played for the first time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else playing on what they considered to be a private course. 11 Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all times. Some players may be embarrassed if they find the course to be temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternative means of play when this is the case. 12 The course owner is responsible for manicuring and pruning any bush around the hole to allow for improved viewing of alignment with, and approach to the hole. 13 Players are advised to obtain the course owner's permission before attempting to play the back nine. 14 Slow play is encouraged. However, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the course owner's request. 15 It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match.