funniest/best movie dialogue between 2 people

[Krux]

HAHA that was like me trying to talk computer to my girl

 

[Khayman]

Sazar sounds like Jon on BBUK

natch

 

[Krux]

hahaha

 

[Sazar]

Originally posted by Khayman
Sazar sounds like Jon on BBUK

natch

/me sits back and pokes khayman with a prickly cactus...

 

[Geffy]

Originally posted by Codasmd
From Full Metal Jacket:
Well, cleaned it up the best I could. There is much more in this scene but.....
HARTMAN is the drill sargent


HARTMAN
How tall are you, Private?

COWBOY
Sir, five foot nine, sir!

HARTMAN
Five foot nine? I didn't know they stacked sh*t that high! You trying to squeeze an inch in on me somewhere, huh?

COWBOY
Sir, no, sir.


HARTMAN
Bullsh*t! It looks to me like the best part of
you ran down the crack of your mama's a#$ and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress! I think you've been cheated!

HARTMAN

Where in hell are you from anyway, Private?


COWBOY

Sir, Texas, sir!

HARTMAN
Holy dogsh*t! Texas! Only
steers and queers
come from Texas, Private Cowboy! And you
don't look much like a steer to me, so that
kinda narrows it down!
Do you suck d***s!

COWBOY
Sir, no, sir!


HARTMAN
Are you a peter-puffer?

COWBOY
Sir, no, sir!

HARTMAN
I'll bet you're the kind of guy that would f***
a person in the a$$ and not even have the
common courtesy to give him a reach-around! I'll be watching you!

I'm sure there is a line in there

"I bet you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose"

 

[Codasmd]

Yeah, I think. Or the chrome off of a trailer hitch.
One of those

 

[Khayman]

from tv not a movie, but i like it

Dan: Come with us.
Casey: Where?
Dan: El Perro Fumando.
Casey: "The Smoking Dog"?
Dan: Yes.
Casey: Why?
Dan: If you wear something blue, you get $2 off a giant blue margarita.
Casey: You know, I make a pretty good living. I can actually afford to wear what I want and pay full price.
Dan: I'm not promoting the economic upside as much as I am the opportunity to drink something giant and blue.


...and...

Jeremy : Fire me.
Isaac : What?
Jeremy : You heard me, I want you to fire me.
Isaac : I'm not going to fire you.
Jeremy : I'm a terrible worker, I'm the last to arrive and the first to leave.
Isaac : You're the first to arrive and the last to leave.
Jeremy : And don't you think that's a little strange?
Isaac : Yes.
Jeremy : I'm a racist.
Isaac : Jeremy...
Jeremy : I am, I'm a terrible racist. I think all those people with the funny accents and weird skin color should go back to wherever they came from and leave this country to the people who rightfully stole it from the Indians... which they deserved.
Isaac : Jeremy...
Jeremy : I'm serious, this country is being ruined by the blacks and the Jews.
Isaac : You're Jewish.
Jeremy : And I have to be stopped!


also

Sally : Sam?
Sam: Susie.
Sally : Sally.
Sam: Okay.
Sally : This meeting's not going that well is it?
Sam: No. The good news is an hour from now I'm not going to remember who you are.

plus

Dan : You're nineteen feet tall, why are you wearing heels?
Sally : Do you feel diminutive?
Dan : No, but now I have to look up that word.

including

[Elliot brings Dan flowers]
Elliot: These are for you.
Dan : Elliot, look, last night, seriously, I was talking to Kim. I was doing a little thing...
Elliot: They're not from me.
Dan : Like it'd kill you to give me flowers once in a while?

I could go on forever..

 

[leedogg]

hahahaha thats just too funny. what shows are those from?

 

[Khayman]

All from the great (late) show Sports Night

 

[gonaads]

"When Harry met Sally"... in the restaurant, the discussion about faking an orgasm and Sally (Meg Ryan) starts the mooooooanin and...

And also when she's (Sally) done and the older lady sitting behind them says, "I'll have what she's having"

the entire scene in the Restaurant.

 

[inso]

From Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas:

Duke (Johnny Depp): Suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the car...

Duke: ... and a voice was screaming: Holy Jesus! What are these goddamn animals?

Dr. Gonzo (Benicio del Toro): What are you yelling about?

Duke: Never mind. It's your turn to drive.

Duke: No point mentioning these bats I thought. The poor bastard will see them soon enough.

This dialogue plus the crazy, drugged-up look on these guys faces makes me crack up every time.

 

[neoterixx]

Originally posted by Codasmd
From Full Metal Jacket:
Well, cleaned it up the best I could. There is much more in this scene but.....
HARTMAN is the drill sargent


HARTMAN
How tall are you, Private?

COWBOY
Sir, five foot nine, sir!

HARTMAN
Five foot nine? I didn't know they stacked sh*t that high! You trying to squeeze an inch in on me somewhere, huh?

COWBOY
Sir, no, sir.


HARTMAN
Bullsh*t! It looks to me like the best part of
you ran down the crack of your mama's a#$ and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress! I think you've been cheated!

HARTMAN

Where in hell are you from anyway, Private?


COWBOY

Sir, Texas, sir!

HARTMAN
Holy dogsh*t! Texas! Only
steers and queers
come from Texas, Private Cowboy! And you
don't look much like a steer to me, so that
kinda narrows it down!
Do you suck d***s!



COWBOY
Sir, no, sir!


HARTMAN
Are you a peter-puffer?

COWBOY
Sir, no, sir!

HARTMAN
I'll bet you're the kind of guy that would f***
a person in the a$$ and not even have the
common courtesy to give him a reach-around! I'll be watching you!

You missed this part: HARTMAN
Bullsh*t you look like you can suck a golf ball through a garden hose